A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a large family of brothers and sisters and both parents. Everyone outside thinks we are really close and get along but we dont. Lately a relation passed away they left all their possessions to half my family who only went to see them when they got ill. everyone else who was there for years helping out and doing work for free got nothing. I have no problem with getting nothing and neither does half my family but the one's who did are trying to rub it in and gloat and last weekend my sister who got nothing made out that she was going to bad mouth them to a relationWhen she didnt and went off to see this relation but said nothing. The next day my older siblings started a row and made out that she carried out the act and i know she didnt because i was with her. I told my mother that it was lies and she believes me but now there is a divide in the family of young versus old. Last night one of my older sisters turned round and told my dad all the lies that were going round and made herself out to be innocent. How can this problem be sorted? I know i cant do it and there is no sweeping it under the carpet this time. it will escalate further and someone will take action and hurt someone physically in the end. the law cant do anything cause it's a family dispute. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (2 July 2012):
 And the wise woman said I'm going to spend down to my last quarter, and when I Die, I'll swallow that too.
Ive seen much worse than your families problems. Even when there is no money. I've seen hurt feelings of a set of salt shakers. I've seen brothers and sisters undermine and steal from each other. I know of a case where the existing will was ignored so the kids could get more cash. It upsets me so much to see what can happen to families that I have flat out refused to be executor of any will.
I feel a need to share a personal experience that worked out well.
My Grandfather died with little more than the clothes on his back. He was worried that a certain item he owned would get to my brother. He couldn't recall why but it was important. So I made sure he got that. I was given an opportunity to chose from what remained any one thing. I took a picture that my uncle had painted in college, my sister took his boots. I did call the Uncle and tell him that I had it in case he wanted it. He was happy that it meant something to me.
I am sure that if they knew what the cost would be to the family ties, many people would swallow the last dime to stop it. No amount of money would be worth what I have seen to me.
FA
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (30 June 2012):
 Families plus a death in the family plus a Will leaving that person's estate often adds up to a disaster.
It is near impossible to make people change. You can show your disappointment by turning your back and walking out the room any time they start taking about the money.
Do not feed the fires raging about this Will and the money sent out.
Do not take part in the conversations about the Will. Nor about the Money
Often the animosities have been simmering for decades and money (inherited or not inherited) just makes the animosity worse.
Even when everyone gets exactly the same as each other they fight.
Sometimes a distribution is unjust (such as if a deceased person leaves out a special needs child from inheriting - that is unjust).
Sometimes the Will was written many decades earlier. And what was appropriate in 1960 is now obsolete.
Sometimes a person has put pressure on the deceased, (when the deceased was alive) to change their Will.
Let them gloat. If they are fools they will spend it all in the next two years
Never rely on an inheritance to make you wealthy.
And ignore boasting people.
Instead focus on ways that you can make money. AND attened courses on how to start and run a business
Create wealth and always live within your means
And NEVER spend more than you earn in any one week nor in any one month, and never in any of the year.
This way you will develop a strong heathy view of money
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