A
female
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*una~
writes:My mother is driving me crazy. I have a boyfriend of 2 yrs but I still live at home. My boyfriend lives 2 hrs drive away from me and I get to see him only during the weekends. He has a 6 yrs old daughter which only come stays with him every second weekend. Therefore, he comes down and gets me during those weekends and I’ll stay with him. Otherwise, he will come down and stay at my parents’. My mom on the other hand doesn’t like the fact I leave home for the weekend (maybe she doesn’t like the fact I have a boyfriend). She always make it hard for me to leave (tell me I have to do this and that) or even guilt trip me for leaving (you should stay because you have to help out the family business). I’m 23 now and she still thinks she has a rope around my neck. I’m thinking about moving out soon (with my bf). But meanwhile, I have to deal with all the stressful moment created by my mom. I used to drive myself to my bf’s, but I don’t even want to take the family car anymore to avoid my parent’s complaint. My bf has done all he can for my parents to like him. But my parents just don’t seem to accept him as the person I will spend my life with. They think we are just dating and we might separate later. They are not supportive at all and it’s hurting me. I’m afraid to tell my boyfriend about them. If it is like this now, what am I going to do when I tell them I’m going to buy a house with my bf and move in with him a few months from now? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2007): i just dont understand why ur mom is giving u a hard time about this. she has no right to guilt trip u when u leave to have a nice weekend with ur bf. really i think its just in her nature. a mother finds it hard to let go of their daughters, because we are supposed to be delicate and unable to care for ourselves. she just still may see u as that little girl. or did u ever wonder if ur mom really enjoys ur company and gets lonesome of u when ur gone. its time to have the talk with ur mom and let her know ur feelings about ur bf and that she needs to start letting go. ur growning up and moving on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2007): Well, you are over 21! You can and should have a life without having to ask their permission or for their approval. But you do need to have a talk with them and put them in the picture. Don't wait until the day before you move in with him to let them know the situation. Point out that you are doing it and you would like them to approve but it isn't essential. Just let them know that it is your future, if things go wrong, (which i hope they don"t) then you will survive, pick yourself up and start again.They are your parents and they are bound to worry and care about you but at the same time they don't have the right to dictate what you do.
Take care
xx
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