A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I have been divorced since 2007 and I joined a friendship/dating site to meet a couple of male platonic friends. Anyway, I found one man was widowed around 9 months ago and was looking for "a serious relationship" so I sent my condolances and we started seeing each other. I explained that although I was looking for something more eventually, I wanted to go very slow and just meet a few men rather than getting tied into something exclusive too soon. That was 3 months ago and we have seen each other once or twice a week. He had been seeing another woman but he said he didn't like it that she never could have sex with another man since her husband died and she would never let him meet her family nor see his family, so he let it fizzle out. We have had no issues in meeting each others adult children and share chats and silences and I find I don't mind hearing about his deceased wife.A couple of times on saying goodbye his lips have found mine, briefly, but I gently move away, happy to hug, but feel cautious of things getting too soon into bed. The problem is, he doesn't contact me much in between. He never phones, but he might email me once or twice a week, and if I text he always texts back, but never more than once. He isn't on pay as you go and says he has lots of unused texts each month.He has gone on holiday out of range for two weeks, but he is online this second week and did email to say he wishes I was there...but although I have closed down my profile on the site where we met, I couldn't resist just checking if he had been online...and he had...earlier this week.I am quite confused, as my other close call relationships have been much more proactive, though this is a man who was married to one woman for 28 years and only one short relationship prior to that. I feel this is truthful, but unsure if his not contacting me much and being online the once means anything when he has also said when he is with me he feels better than he has in a long time. I recently had my fingers burned by someone I care deeply about stringing me along so feel vulnerable.Make sense to any men out there?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 July 2012):
 I agree with Aunt Honesty. You told him you wanted to go slow and you have been.
IF you are ready to step up to the next level in the relationship you have to tell him. he may be waiting for you to initiate it based on your request to go slow.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 July 2012):
 I can understand why you are wary of this man, you have been hurt therefore you are going to have your guard up. I can see why him being on line would make you cautious but my guess is that he likes you but he knows you want to take it slow, he also is probably unsure if you both will make it exclusive therefore he is keeping his options open. I think if you want more contact from him then you should say this to him, as you told him you wanted to take things slowly and that is probably why he only contacts you a couple of times a week. You have nothing to lose and it sounds like you both like each other so I think you should take the relationship to the next level and let yourself go.
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