A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex-boyfriend and I started hanging out again and it was like we were back together, we even said "I Love You" to each other. I go to school 3 hours away from where he lives and he just told me that he met this girl 2 weeks ago and said they "get each other." He said he still really cares about me, but there is a weird feeling there. She has a boyfriend in Australia and is leaving in 3 weeks to go over there for 6 months. I really care about him and I sill want to be with him. We dated for 2.5 years before he broke up with me. He isn't planning on anything happening with her but he also said that whatever was going on between us needed to stop for now. I have no idea what to do or think and I can't sleep. Am I over reacting or should I be concerned about losing him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk, so we got back together after about 9 months of being apart. Nothing was official but we've been seeing each other exclusively since about February and we made it official about a month and a half ago. For the last 2 weeks we've barely seen each other or talked cause we've both been really busy working for the summer and seeing old friends and I was starting to get worried. We just had this long conversation on the phone and he says he sees me going back to the way I used to be and needs someone who is more relaxed and doesn't worry about every little thing. I'm still young and figuring out who i am and he's 5 years older. I don't want to lose him and I cannot go through a break up with him again. He said he doesn't want to decide anything right now but I don't know what I can do to make things better? PLEASE HELP!!!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkay! The girl left 2 weeks ago for Australia, but they still talk on myspace or whatever and they say this miss each other. It could be in an innocent way because I miss my guy friends and I tell them that and visa versa and he has contacted me and been telling me things that he used to tell me when were in a relationship (like financial issues, family issues, childhood stories). He still says he is not sure where his head is at, but tells me not to be shy and that I can always talk to him. He basically wants me to "vent" to him or tell him anything.
My friends keep telling me to just leave it alone and let whatever happens, happen, but I am having a really difficult time with it. I mean I know he is having a really rough time right now with life in general and its like a mini-mid life crisis but in his 20's. I don't know if he is just trying to figure out his life right now or what. I am so confused and distracted when I'm not busy with school. He keeps giving me mixed signals and I don't know what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk, so i now understand the situation and think its only fair since he's technically single to let him figure out the thoughts in his head and I have school to focus on so i will be fine. The thing I can't get over is that I keep over-thinking everything and making up near impossible scenarios in my head and get upset over it.
How can I put my mind at ease, stop over-thinking and stop twisting reality?
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A
female
reader, 05hughesk  +, writes (8 September 2008):
 Believe me if he does feel things for you as hes saying then he will realise how much he cares about you and will come back to you .. good luck !!
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThats the thing we only broke up because I was being immature, not him. He is 5 years older than me and we started dating when i was 17 and I am 20 now. We broke up at the beginning of May and didn't talk or see each other for 3 months. When we started hanging out again he was the one who contacted me and was asking me to hang out and calling me to come over. He told me that he is confused and even told me its nothing to be worried about but i always see the worst in every situation. He said he'll probably never see her again when she leaves but i'm still a little up in the air about the whole situation. I'm hoping this just makes him realize how much he cares about me.
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female
reader, Daniela2 +, writes (7 September 2008):
Of Course There is Still Hope.There are some people who do happen to get back with their ex.But yet again,if you do go out,theres a chance of you breaking up again & dealing with this all over again. it makes me wander,why break up with them in the first place?.Love is unconditional.Are you certain you two were in love.i think the best thing to do here,is to pick up the pieces and move on with your life.Dont over-react, boys are like that,confusing as hell.But hey,move on focus on whats important,YOU!.Focus on your education,look after yourself,make yourself someone confident.who knows you might attract another guy,Your ex could get jelous.When you stop giving your ex attention he might realise he had a diamond whilst collecting stones.You never know what he had till he lost it.!!Hope that helped.
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female
reader, Britishrose +, writes (7 September 2008):
 Firstly I think because you have been with this guy for2.5 years he is thinking now he is single he has freedom in his love life and seeing other people is something new, I think you should realise if he really was in love with you he would only want to be with you and you only. If you are messaging him alot cut down it will make him wonder what your doing and potinally he will start missing you and what you two had together so therefore if he thinks its really worth saving your relationship let him make the effort im sure you deserve to be someone who truly wants to be with you and you only. In the mean time take it easy and let him descide what he wants from your relationship and what you want and deserve.
All the best
British-Rose x
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A
female
reader, 05hughesk +, writes (7 September 2008):
hiya, if i was you .. i would leave him .. and just let him come back to you .. because he said "whatever was going on between us needed to stop (for now)".. if hes saying for now then he will come back for you .. if not just be honest with him and tell him how you feel.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2008): God, this situation does sound as if it is very confusing for everybody involved!
I do think your ex-boyfriend cares about you. You have been together for a long time and he isn't going to throw that away - he just needs time to sort out his feelings. You must remember that it is a very difficult concept for most of the incomprehensible male species!
I wouldn't think the girl he met is serious about him, especially if she is about to go to Australia to see her boyfriend for 6 months! And it doesn't seem as if he is serious about her either; maybe he is using her to test your reaction and settle his own insecurities. You must remember he is still very young, he could just want to experiment a little more with other possibilities before he settles down!
However I do think you all need to talk this through before everybody ends up being hurt, seeing as nobody is quite sure what is going on! It reminds me of a Midsummer Nights Dream, where you have Helena (you) who loves Demetrius(your ex-boyfriend) who claims to love Hermia (the girl he met) who is actually is love with her boyfriend (Lysander) who feels the same way! But I don't think you should worry. In this world we don't need magic potions and fairy dust for everything to work out in the end!
x
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