A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello guys, I have a problem here, well, this guy and I have been dating for 2 months now, everything's was fine, he's so nice and sweet and he understands me very well.He's Turkish and I'm from morocco but he lives here in Morocco we're both in university, he's 20 I'm 18 yrs old, and he's the most handsome guy I've ever seen, but he's very cocky about his country and he said that he dislikes Moroccan girls but he did like me (that was really weird).He dated only one girl before me for 3yrs, I asked him why did you break up, but he told me he can't tell me, I was cool with that, I told him it's OK if you don't want to talk about it.He's so jealous of my friends(guys)and Facebook was a serious problem, I actually deleted all guys and my pictures from it, to make him feel comfortable and trust me more.Lately, I've been the only one who asked questions to make the conversation go on, in order to know him more, random questions like how was your day? How are you?...but he just answered me with with short answers and..silence.One day, he got angry at me saying that I'm asking him too much questions, so I told him that I won't ask him anything in the future. More than that, everything I like to do like my hobbies or something I like to do later, he said he dislike it. I understand that everyone has different point of view and I respect that, but just don't force me to dislike it too.Also,he said that I'm the most beautiful girl that he saw here in Morocco but not like the girls in Turkey because they're more beautiful than me. I felt weird, I didn't know if it was a compliment or an insult, but I didn't argue with him I was silent.Yesterday, I asked him if he will stay in morocco when he finished studying or he will return to his homeland, he said that if he likes it here maybe he will stay, he added, that he doesn't have no one here besides me, and maybe he will return to his country. He was playing with words. I said "Then I'm not important" he replied, no you are important, but if I returned to Turkey you won't be important anymore! I was shocked, I told him that I'm not a toy, if you are here I'm important if you are there I'm not, so, I told him that we have to end this right now, because I don't need this. He was like: wait, no don't do that please! I still want you, I said goodbye, now he's keeping texting me on Facebook.I won't lie, I like him so so so much, but I don't want to get hurt again, I still want him back but he has to change, he has a lot of qualities but sometimes he is not good to me, also, I don't want him to treat me like a toy.What to do? I'm so confused...please don't tell me that I have to forget about him because I still like him and want him back.please help :( and thank you for you help love you guys..
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGuys, thank you so much for your help, even if i don't know you but you did help me a lot, those words made me strong and happy, thank you :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2014): You said this:"One day, he got angry at me saying that I'm asking him too much questions, so I told him that I won't ask him anything in the future. More than that, everything I like to do like my hobbies or something I like to do later, he said he dislike it. I understand that everyone has different point of view and I respect that, but just don't force me to dislike it too.Also,he said that I'm the most beautiful girl that he saw here in Morocco but not like the girls in Turkey because they're more beautiful than me. I felt weird, I didn't know if it was a compliment or an insult, but I didn't argue with him I was silent.Yesterday, I asked him if he will stay in morocco when he finished studying or he will return to his homeland, he said that if he likes it here maybe he will stay, he added, that he doesn't have no one here besides me, and maybe he will return to his country. He was playing with words. I said "Then I'm not important" he replied, no you are important, but if I returned to Turkey you won't be important anymore!........"So he doesn't like you to ask him questions, he doesn't like your hobbies (doesn't sound as if you have much in common?). He sounds controlling and arrogant. The fact that he said something to (try to) make you feel less attractive and self-confident, i.e. saying Turkish girls are prettier or whatever, is very abusive and on this basis alone I would dump him. I was with a guy years and years ago when I was your age who tried similar tricks with me, except he would tell me that "women where I come from have nice breasts than you, why aren't yours as nice as theirs?" Crap along those lines. Now I am older, not always wiser, but recently a guy tried to pull the same on me about my body not being up to scratch in some way and now he is ancient history. Wise up. He wants to bring you down.And the bull he spouts about forgetting about you in Turkey? That's really mean and is another tactic to keep you feeling inferior and less than.I bet you are gorgeous. I've been to Morocco a lot and was always amazed by how many stunning women and men there were. Lovely dusky skin, thick hair and eyes. There will be zillions of men out there to love you. Don't give yourself to someone like this piece of arrogant crap who so clearly doesn't deserve you.I used to torture myself about "not being good enough" because of what my ex used to say to me. Not any more. And I am now almost 45 and I wish someone had said all this to me when I was 21!Take care and blessings X
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A
male
reader, Gauntlet  +, writes (1 February 2014):
 End of the story. That's sad but wanting to make it longer would not only be more sad, but perhaps more dangerous. Take it as it is: an experience of life, a certain amount of good souvenirs (for the bad ones, they will fade with time) and... the fairy tale stopped just on time not to become a tragedy. It's not so bad after all, and you are so young my dear, so young you will find another prince charming in no time to say it.
Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2014): What should you do to stop thinking about/him get over him? You should gill your time with work/school, friends, hobbies, and maybe try to meet new people. I agree that he was treating you poorly, and toying with your mind. Im sure there are other men out there that would treat you better. He would have to seriously change his ways and even then, I dont know if you have a future with him after what he said about his country and that you wouldnt be important anymore if he were to go back to Turkey. Best wishes to you, I think you made a good decision :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your advice :),but how can i forget about him?i mean what should i do?
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (1 February 2014):
 I won't tell you what you want to hear. He doesn't want you to ask questions, treats you like a throwaway, and there's no future. What is there to like?? You have the right idea to drop him. If you go back and waver about wanting him back and let him treat you badly like he's doing, then nothing you say will matter. You'll get used and then you'll hurt even more.
FORGET ABOUT HIM. How many local guys are there out there who would actually treat you well? I'm guessing more than you think. Life is too short to waste time and only be used for sex and then thrown away.
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