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anonymous
writes: HELP!!I'm currently in a relationship and have been for two years. But I have my suspicions that he is cheating on me. He recently said to me he needs his own space and doesn't want to see me as much! But to be honest I'm not that bothered because I'm in love with my best friend, I think about him most of the day and its really starting to get me depressed. We have kissed a few times before and it never really went any further. He said that I'm attractive and have a great personality, but he can't see me as a girlfriend? He isn't really one for showing/talking about his feelings! I have split up from my current partner before for a number of days and did kiss my best friend at that time, I'm really in love with my friend, I've told him how I feel and deep down I don't think he realises just how much I like him. Should I just leave it or ask him face to face? As I told him through an email about my feelings for him. Please help; its getting me down so much!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2005): i was once in the same situation, i couldnt give my boyfriend my heart totally because it was hopes of getting my with my best friend, we also kissed but when i told him exactly how i felt about him he told me that we can only be friends and having a realtionship would only ruin it,but i thought it was a saying friends make better lovers.
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (17 February 2005):
 It sounds like you and your current partner are with each other only because there's nothing else on the horizon for either of you. Why not just stop pretending, end it and move on?Neither of you is doing the other any favours by staying in this relationship. Does it really matter if your partner is cheating when you yourself confess that you're in love with your friend, think about him all day and have kissed him? Incidentally, your friend's already told you how he feels and even though he's attracted to you, can't picture you as a girlfriend. For somebody who doesn't talk about his feelings, I think he's done a pretty neat job of describing them. There probably isn't any need for you need to confess your attraction any further.My suggestion would be to talk honestly with your current partner. Tell him what you've said here, that you're attracted to someone else. Ask your partner if he wants to work on your relationship with you, to try to re-kindle the spark. If not, do what you have to. But I wouldn't count on linking up with your attractive friend straightaway, because he's made his position abundantly clear already.Maybe it would be a good idea for you to have some time without a boyfriend, to get to know yourself and your own interests and not to feel so dependant on another person for validation. Learning to love yourself and finding your own interests will certainly enhance your attractiveness to other people... maybe even including your friend, given some time.Good luck.-B
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