A
female
age
36-40,
*tterlyconfused
writes:Ok,so I am in a loveless relationship for little over a year. At times when my boyfriend wants to see me he is thinking about sex and i feel like that is the only thing that gives us an excuse to see each other. If we dont go out somewhere(which we hardly do)there is nothing else we do where we dont have sex at all. I did tell him earlier in our relationship that I dont like the fact that the only reason we spend time together is for sex. He didnt have a problem with this and even asked me what i wanted to do instead but I didnt come up with anything. But recently in the past month, when asks to see me, I tell him that either I dont want to have sex or that I do but not any oral sex. So now im thinking that he will start to lose interest in me and we will end breaking up. Could my increase decline of wanting sex due because I dont love him but he doesnt love me but wanting to feel loved and love him?
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female
reader, utterlyconfused +, writes (29 May 2010):
utterlyconfused is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell i told him how i felt i didnt say that i wanted to breakup but he has percieved that so we might actually break. But now im thinking that im only 21 and kind of antisocial so i should just enjoy what time we spend together whether then worry about finding love so much. Im young i got time.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2010): You can't base a loverelationship only on sex. Then your just casual f-buddies, no offense intended.
It's not very strange that your love and lust is gone if there's no nurturing the love and communication between the two of you. In a relationship you must always try to work on the relationship (as long as you want it to last). He has done nothing of the sort. When he calls, you know that he only wants sex and it makes you feel stressed and pressured, and probably also unapprechiated. And so it's just natural for you not wanting to see him.
If you don't love him anymore I don't see any reason why you shouldn't break the thing off now. It will save you a lot of time avoiding him and making up excuses.
Good Luck!!
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A
male
reader, BGP 88  +, writes (29 May 2010):
 Right, so straight up it's never a good thing when the only reason you see each other is for sex, and also if you don't really do anything together other than that, that's not great either. I think you guys should start from scratch. Go on a few dates. Go bowling, to the cinema, for meals etc... it may bring the fun and the spark back and make you remember why you first started dating in the first place! If he cares about you, he won't lose interest because of a lack of sex. Don't worry so much, if you have a good guy, he will come through. If not, then you deserve better and you will get better :)
I hope this helped! Good luck! :) xx
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