A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I had been with my boyfriend in Switzerland for over two years when I movied to China. I would be staying for a year, with him visting me in six months. While alone in China, I met a man twenty years older than my boyfriend. I was immensly attracted to him, and cheated on my boyfriend. When he found out, I made the decision to break up with him and take my chances on the new relationship. The new relationship ended within a few months, and my now-ex-boyfriend found a new girlfriend. It is now time for me to go back to Switzerland, and I desperately want my ex back. I know that I was the one who ruined our relationship, but I honestly feel that we could still be happy together. Should I get him back?Am I being selfish?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2008): I meant stay in touch "respectfully", not in the order given, or respectively....duh.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2008): I don't think you are being selfish wanting you ex back, but I think he may see you as disrespectful. He has clearly moved on and gotten over you and has a new girlfriend. I as a fellow woman, hate when an ex girlfriend comes packin' for MY man....it makes me angry at both him and her, and that isn't fair to the new girlfriend with her new relationship now is it....it is wrong on a moral level.
That said, if you want to get him back, merely stay in touch respectively, and leave him alone with his girlfriend, if that relationship tanks, then make your move, he will respect you more for doing it that way as well. Respect is the engine that drives a relationship, if you lose that or have lost that, it is going to be very difficult to get him back anyway.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, ..BETTYBEE..  +, writes (16 March 2008):
I personally think that you should let him cary on with his life, as heartbreaking it may be if he still loves you he will end it with his girlfriend.
dont interfear with his life because if you mess things us he might hate you, thats proberbly the last thing you want.
You did make a very big mistake by cheating on him but mistakes are there to be made and you will always learn from them, yeah you should tell him your feelings but just leave it at that, Would you rather have his friendship or nothing at all?
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