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female
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*alone
writes: I meet a guy three months ago over the internet and we live about 5 hours apart but for the first six weeks he came down to see me every weekend and and after that we moved in together I found out that he had a lot of financial problems and I only ended up living there for about 6 weeks because he couldn't afford for us to live there and it is just so devastating to me because I lost a job over it and moved my kid 5 hours away we talk over the phone and I went down there this past weekend but I am wondering if its gonna work out and I just need somebody to give me some advice as to whether I should move on or see what happens.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2006):
I am judging you on your actions and appearent thought process. Sorry if your feeling are hurt, but you'll have determine if the judgements are valid.
Look at the questions from other users on the site- a lot of them are from people who got themselves entangled with people they didnt know well enough and now they are struggling if they should go through the emotional pain to pull apart.
Frankly you really still dont know the whole story. Maybe there were past bankruptcies and thats why he cant file now. Maybe he has kids out of wedlock. Could that happen in any relationship? Sure, but at least you arent strapped together unnatuarally early. And the bill collectors arent ringing your phone.
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female
reader, malone +, writes (4 December 2006):
malone is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe does not have a wife he is divorced I seen the divorce papers and he does not have any kids so do not judge my situation you I knowed him for 6 weeks not just meeting him 2 times and yes I do think we rushed things but we lived 5 hours away and I guess we wanted to be together and we both made a bad decision I realize that but I was not told the complete truth about his finacial situation that is why I moved back home and it is not like he is some crazy lunatic this message is for the anonymous writer.
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female
reader, malone +, writes (4 December 2006):
malone is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI mean this is a little of what type of situation he is in he is a coulpe months behind on his house payment he did't file his taxes last year and he owes other people money its just a little more in depth I thought I would addto let eeryone know about the type pf situation I am facing and he doesn't want to file bankruptcy because he says he wants to work his way out of dept and he also owes for a vehicle that got repossed he just went through a divorce a year ago and while he was going through that he lost his business it went bankrupt and because of what he was going through I guess he just let his house payment go along with other things as well.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2006):
You make dumb decisions and bad things happen. You meet this guy a few times and and you shack up with him with nothing discussed, little time to know each other in good and bad times and no committments. There are about 50 ways that can end badly. He could just as easily have a wife somewhere else, or kids that visit once a month who hate you, or all kind of other complications.
A person renting out a room would have taken more precautions that you appear to have.
And wont your kid get the impression this kind of thing is acceptable and be on here with easily prevented issues in a few years?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2006): Hun, he knew that when you were coming to live with him, (with kids in tow)...that he had severe financial problems.
Why on earth would he be that irresponsible as to putting you and your children, in a compromising circumstance knowing he had this problem? If he gets this mess ever straightened out and you still want to be together, then you have him give you solid 'proof' he's back on track.
Don't believe a word he tells you because he's proven he can lie quite adeptly, already. If it were me, the lies would be enough for me to say 'bye bye' for good, because I would never be able to trust his word again. But you are not me and many women choose to tolerate this kind of stuff. The only thing, I will say to you...one woman to another...make a plan so that you and your kids do not..ever have to depend on this man. If you are educated, have a career, a good paying job and a home...don't give it up for anyone. Always be independant, strong and empower your own life so you don't have to depend on anyone else to 'give you a life'. Your kids will grow up honoring your courage and respecting that about you. Remember that! Good lucjk and take care my dear...keep us posted.
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female
reader, malone +, writes (4 December 2006):
malone is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI love him and I want to be with him but I moved back home and told him that if he wants us to live together again that he needs to get his finances striaght first.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2006): Oh God! This story for me is so like my past. I moved in too quick with my second bloke. Disaster! He had loads of money problems. Bailiffs used to call and debt collectors, i was there only a few weeks, discovered that i was pregnant and stayed. More mayhem. I think you should cut your losses now and don't meet anyone on the internet. You need to get out there and meet someone single and without any financial burdens. I suggest you get a stable home together for you and your kids and forget this waste of space. He will drag you down, into the gutter and beyond. you will never have anything decent and you don't want a future for you and your kids. A future pitted with doom and gloom, come on girl you can do it - WALK AWAY!!!
Take care and i'm sending you a big hug for you and the kids.
xxxx
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