A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I joined a sports club today, and met a guy I really, really liked, even after talking to him once. We have a lot in common and he's really nice and flirted with me a bit. I will be seeing him twice a week there.I was really nervous around him though, because I'm not sure if I'm "good enough" for a relationship or even ready. I'm 21 but have never had a boyfriend, dropped out of uni and spent a year struggling with depression, and just need to get my social life back on track. I also have major family issues to sort out. I am trying to focus on myself but can't stop thinking about him and how much I want him :( I won't be good enough for a boyfriend for ages, probably. Help, what should I do? :(
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male
reader, Roboaxe  +, writes (21 January 2015):
 WiseOwl phrased it perfectly. Don't worry about it so much. It sounds like you two might hit it off, so enjoy your time with him. Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2015): You're looking at it from the wrong angle. You're a work in progress, that doesn't make you unworthy.
If it turns out he likes you too, lets hope he's good enough for YOU!!!
You only briefly met the guy, and you're showing too much enthusiasm after only one conversation. You have to calm yourself down and not get too carried away with his charms.
You have to KNOW the guy first, in order to LIKE him.
You can't assess a person's whole personality in one conversation; because he likes a few things you like or shares a few common interests. That is nothing to build your feelings on. You're attaching far too quickly. He may not like you as much as you like him. Let things move slowly.
So please...please...please calm yourself down.
You have just been introduced; so you don't really know what you like about that guy yet. You have to have a few conversations, meet-up a few times, make sure he's single, and then decide if he is WORTHY OF YOU!
You hit a few road bumps and you're sorting out your life. Put yourself on equal-footing with every guy you meet.let no one judge you by your situation. We all have our problems.
You don't know him, you know only what he told you about himself. Guys sometimes brag to impress pretty ladies, and they can be pretty smooth if they know you're inexperienced.
You don't need to confide your personal business or let on how inexperienced you are; or he might take you for weak or damaged, and play you. Being too eager will drive a guy away, or he will take advantage of your innocence.
You first have to believe you're good enough. It's something else when you say you're not sure you're ready. Please don't start out with a guy you hardly know by having a low opinion of yourself.
Put no man before yourself. Let him prove to you he is what you "think" he is. Then let your feelings grow from what you know about him, and how well he treats you. Be confident, relaxed, and feel equal to any man you meet.
Your problems do not define you as a person. They shape your character and prep you for life. Stay on top of them. Don't let them steal your joy. Try uni again. Don't give up on your education.
Girls or women who think guys are "too good" for them end-up used, played, and forgotten. Trust me, he's got his skeletons too!
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