A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I was contacted initially by a girl on a dating site. Her phtos were absolutely stunning and her profile was obiously written by an intelligent but very guarded person, ie. it was witty and interesting but told me almost nothing about herself. I responded enthusiastically and she replied, encouraging more but again not giving much away. I was a bit dubious, wondering whether she was a scammer, so when she wondered in an email how alike we were I suggested meeting up, thinking I'd perhaps called her bluff. Anyhow, to my surprise she agreed, and we met up last weekend. She was even more beautiful than her photos and was a completely charming person, but again very guarded (I still don't know her second name, phone number or email address!) although despite this we talked for several hours, laughed and joked. We ended the date at about 11pm as we both had work the next day, and went back to the station, where I had to dash to get my train so the parting was swift. She was very positive but I didn't want to bring up a second date at that point and make things potentially awkward.Thinking I wasn't into the whole 'dating rules' thing, I sent her an email the next evening saying I'd enjoyed it, making a couple of jokes regarding things we both found funny, and suggesting that we meet again, maybe next Sunday. No reply. I know it's only been three days, but what ought I to do? I'd really love to see her again, the first date went well, felt a bit like she was rather out of my league but managed not to let this affect the date, so should I just sit it out? Or should I email one more time in a couple of days, maybe suggesting where we could go on the date? From the nature of her emails she is somewhat slow to respond and seems to like being chased but do you think that another email might seem a bit desperate? Given that obviously I paid for the date I must admit that it seems a bit rude for her not to email to at least say thanks but no thanks, but I guess that may be the way of the world! I probably know the answer you'll give, ie. if she doesn't email then forget her, but to be honest she's th first person ever from an internet dating site that I'e met and really felt it might go somewhere, so I'm keen to maximise my chances if at all possible.Thanks! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2011):
I disagree that girls are mega-obvious when they are into you. I found out about most of the girls who had crushes on me way past the time to act on it had passed. Maybe to women it seems mega-obvious, but not to many (most?) men.
That said, if she's not calling or e-mailing back then either she isn't interested or something has come up. Don't try to make contact again for a week. After that time, try once more in case the first message was accidentally missed or lost. If no response after that, let it go.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2011): If she was into you, you would know it. And if she's playing some sort of hard to get game, why do you want it?girls are mega obvious when they are into someone. So if it isn't painfully clear, she just doesn't feel it like you were. So sorry, but it happens. There needs to be the magic between both parties for something to form! Good luck on your next internet dating endeavor! I know it can be daunting but dont take it too seriously and have fun with it! Who knows maybe someone else will pleasantly surprise you!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2011): I wouldn't email her again if she contacts you again then great but it sounds like she just isn't that into you, and yes I agree with you she could of at least emailed you and said thanks but no thanks, but as you say life isn't like that.
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