A
female
age
41-50,
*ired6178
writes:Here is my questionA couple of days ago I found out he had been having a phone relationship with someone. First he denied it then when I would not let it go he said she was an old friend, was going through a divorce and since he had just been through one was giving her advice. Well if that's all it was why didnt he tell me? Why did he deny it in the beginning? He says because I would have got mad either way. I don't believe they were having a sexual relationship but I do believe they were entertaining the idea. I found out who she was and asked him to call her in front of me if they were just friends and he refused. He deleted his facebook account because she was on there and he didn't want me to find out who she was. Why wouldn't he just delete her ? Is he protecting her? Or is there something more? His facebook status showed me and him in a relationship and his profile pic was of us so she knew he was with someone. I thought we were pretty happy together till this. We live together, do everything together and we also have a very active sex life so I know that wasn't the problem. I mean we have disagreements like everyone else but nothing major. I just don't understand if they were just friends why he wouldn't just fess up when I asked him. Am I being overly insecure or to I have a right to be upset? Please help!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2011): I don't think you're over reacting at all. He lied about it for a reason. And he got rid of FB for a reason.
What you have to decide is: Do you want to get to the bottom of it and will you trust him ever again if you don't? OR Take him at his word and go on with the relationship as if nothing ever happened.
I would NOT be able to go on without knowing the truth... I'd cut off my own nose to spite my face, but I'd never trust him again. Yeah, I have trust issues :)
Good luck.
A
female
reader, tired6178 +, writes (19 May 2011):
tired6178 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice... He thinks because he said sorry I should just get over it... And don't get me wrong for the most part he is a very loving attentive man... That's why this shocked me so much... Deleting your acct and saying you will change your phone number doesn't solve the problem... I know in my heart something more was going on even if it had not progressed into a sexual relationship...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2011): You have every right to be upset!! I have just been through something similar, i wish I had of followed my instincts and I never, I thought I was being stupid and it was all in my head. His behaviour doesn't sound good. How long you been together? He is obviously hiding something, I told myself that my husband would never have an affair but you know something he did....no man is innocent, actions speak louder then words and he is lying to you. Sorry to sound so blunt but I had doubts in my head and I asked my husband to and he to told me they were just friends but you know something he lied to me, I thought I was being stupid, do not make the same mistake as me. Why hide her from you, why delete your fb account if your so innocent. You need to get to the bottom of what is going on, I would be thinking exactly the same as you if I was in your situation, go with your instincts!!Good Luck and hope you manage to sort things, I feel for you I really do, reading this just reminded me of what I went through!!
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