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Mental health problem blighting my life

Tagged as: Health<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 December 2017) 5 Answers - (Newest, 8 December 2017)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I wanted to come in here because I feel I need to ask for advice/feedback after some therapy had not worked. I have OCD and excessive rumination. I worry to the point where I feel I am handicapped from my thoughts.

For example this incident just happened. My manager called me and told me that someone told her I was being chatty at work - during our meeting I froze and panicked. She told me not to worry about it she was telling me maybe someone mistook my giving training or advice for chatting to a co-worker but I panicked. I can’t stop thinking about what if I reacted the wrong way - what if I get fired.

And then I try to draw up scenarios in my head about how I can find out if she is mad at me or not. It’s exhausting living inside myself and this panic. I draw up scenarios as if I was fired etc . How Can I stop ruminating and control myself . I feel so weak and ashamed. I don’t know how I can get ahead in life like this when I can’t even function with someoen giving me a head up about something - I feel that any other tasks like being a manager myself or leading a team will be impossible

Why am I so weak? I feel my mind is cluttered and I can’t control it

I am ashamed of my metal illness and I have tried medication and it has not worked. I am 31 year old woman with all these degrees and I just feel so weak inside - I can’t stand up for myself - i overwork - and when people treat me badly I am weak and I ruminate and worry to the point of no end

Does anyone have any advice and ideas

If anything I would just want to feel at peace with my mind

Any books - ideas - etc

View related questions: at work, co-worker

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (8 December 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntI think that you need to find another therapist. One that specializes in OCD and anxiety. Are you on any medication? Off course it must be a daily struggle living inside your head, and you cannot go on living like this. It is mentally and physically exhausting. People can never look at a person and know what is going on inside there head. It is a battle only you can win. You need to start by getting the right treatment and tools to learn to live with this. Only then will you see an improvement. Make an appointment with your doctor and go through your options.

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A male reader, Garbo United States +, writes (3 December 2017):

Garbo agony auntBefore accepting to take meds for this, I'd suggest you research this issue and see how much of the diagnosis and help you can do yourself. Mental health is a complicated issue and many times patients know better than the doctors, not just symptoms but the problem itself. Therefore, research because there is huge amounts of literature online on panic attacks and rumination issues. It could be as simple as changing your diet, controlling the adrenaline rate of production, too much cortisol or even hypoglycemia as a friend of mine who ruminates has. In fact, it's her experience with Xanax that prompted me to respond to this issue because it did nothing for her except make her semi-dependent on the drug.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2017):

The mind is always active. You mentioned that you have an extensive-education; which also means you are an intellectual. Therefore, you tend to over-analyze, constantly evaluate, and over-process through thought.

As Honeypie indicated, finding the right therapist who specializes and has extensive experience in the latest research in OCD helps.

I often recommend that you reach out to the Dean of the Psychology Department of one of your best local universities; and see if the head of that department can reference you to a good therapist. They are aware of the latest research and professional-publications. Particularly specializing in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with some extensive training in anxiety disorders.

Often there are other chemical-imbalances in the brain that can be overlooked and go untreated. You may need to undergo another psychological-evaluation, that may lead to treatment with more recent therapies and medications that are available. Taking drugs is not always the answer.

The mind and soul also has to find peace. We do not proselytize here; but if you are a person of faith and worship, return to your chosen faith. You often find peace and tranquility in prayer and meditation. Speaking to your religious leadership often guides you to a place of hope, love, and peace. This suggestion may raise eyebrows or roll-eyes; but sometimes that's all it takes, other than what can be done through medicine alone.

My advice, leave no stone un-turned. You may never find complete peace, but who knows?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2017):

I think that we need to get out of our heads and have something to meaningfully engage ourselves with. When we don't, we are susceptible to these obsessive compulsive thoughts. I don't recommend developing a habit of running from your problems, but you need to get out of your head and into the world. You have a job, but do you have fun?

What about hobbies, or social outings with friends? Hiking, maybe exercise, whatever you get off on. It's different for everyone.

What's in your life that really puts the spark in your eyes? A good job is important, but it's not everything.

Crawling inside your head and getting lost is not a healthy place to be.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (2 December 2017):

Honeypie agony auntFinding a therapist who KNOWS and is TRAINED in ODC behavior patterns can make a huge difference. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is what you are looking for. It's a short-term "treatment" aimed at giving you tools to TAKE control of the obsessive behaviors and/or thoughts and it CAN work.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/cognitive-behavioral-therapy

Yoga. I know it sounds like some new age hipster BS but... it actually DOES help many people how to focus and find that inner calm. Doesn't mean you have to subscribe to the whole ideology. You can pick the bits and pieces that help you.

Exercise, in general, is GREAT for the overall happy mind.

To start out with - go for the "rubber band method" you have a rubber band (you know those brown ones) and put a few on either wrist. (make sure they are not TOO tight) and every time you go into your panic obsessive mode you "snap" yourself out of it with the rubber band. You will get some little bruises (I know I did) in the beginning but again it CAN help to snap you out of the state you are in.

I don't think meds are a great option as more often than not they dull the senses but that is only temporarily and what good is that? No, you NEED to find ways you can TAKE control over the OCD. There is no instant cure or fix but plenty of ways to learn to LIVE with it and BE in control, not let the OCD control YOUR life. However, that is for your therapist/doctor to work out with you.

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