A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why is it so difficult for an attractive woman to find a boyfriend? I am a tall, black woman, very, very shapely and according to everyone who sees me, apparently I look like Rihanna. I'm nearly 35, a professional, don't drive, live in a family populated type area, single and can't seem to get a boyfriend to save my life!! I tend to attract very good-looking men who unfortunately are never over 30 and if I meet one over 25, that's considered a lucky break for me. What's the problem?Why can't I find a man my age or older? Where are they? I seem to only go on dates but cannot find a boyfriend. Are there men out there who want to be in a relationship with a woman or are they all only interested in having sex with various women and never getting attached?I can't understand why I'm single and lonely. I'm well above average with an excellent figure. I have a good job and I'm educated. I'm also a nice, decent person but unfortunately, rather reserved.What's wrong? Have any of you ladies or gentlemen experienced this? Or if not experienced, do you have an opinion on this?I'd appreciate your comments.ALSO: Has anyone read Steve Harvey's book, Act like a lady, think like a man? Do you think this is how the majority of men really think.I read 5 pages and don't know if I'll ever want to date again if this is really the type of men that are out there. What do you think? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2011): I have found, because I am attractive, intelligent and get along well with most men. That I'm confident and hella secure in my skin and don't need others approval- I come across as sexy scary or intimidating. I have had numerous men tell me so on first meets.
They can better read the shallow and insecure and are used to the games of women but are confused when a woman is direct, clear, and knows what she wants and knows how to get it.
Thankfully, I found my BF. It just takes perseverance.
I would continue to date. Eventually, when you are not pushing or impatient about 'being with someone' it will happen. Men can pick up on that about women and think its a woman being clingy or needy.
Give it time.
Ever thought to join Toastmasters? A good way to get out and about people.
A
female
reader, Mariab  +, writes (13 December 2011):
 I have a friend in a similar situation to you and we have discussed this! She thinks that men are intimidated by her demeanor. She is a successful, black, beautiful, athletic woman! She is very confident and doesn't take BS. You sound like the complete package and really like a wonderful woman...but I think that you should try to talk to people that know you closely. Esp. your male friends.... I would be interested to see if they are picking up on something that you may not even notice about yourself. You could be coming on as too "high maintenance", too sure of yourself, too something... I don't know. How we see ourselves and how we are perceived can differ drastically! I wish you luck hun..keep us posted pls? xx
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