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*oney62002
writes: I'm really confused as I'm not sure what this phrase means... and don't understand men at all!!I have been with my man for a year and a half. We have always had rows, but stuck by each other as we both said we loved each other and wanted it to work. I never felt like issues were really sorted as he finds it hard to explain himself and just usually apologises instead.We had a lovely night one night when he spoke about marriage (he was always very romantic, understang and giving boyfriend), then the next day we had a small row which he just got furious and stormed out and said it was over. The next day I called him and asked him to talk and he said 'I have nothing more to say, things weren't working out and that it was over and that he could find someone who loved and treated him better' but I rang him and begged him to come over to at least say goodbye.He came over and I spoke to him and I told him I loved him and it was his choice to end things and that I hope he could deal with it.The confusing bit- we had a text conversation after he left and I told him I loved him and he said he loved me too.... I asked him if he meant the stuff he had said in the past and he said yes especially marriage. Then I asked him if he still wanted that and he just said he was 'confused about what he wants, needs time to sort his head out but that I was the one he loves but he doesn't think I'll wait for him as he's not sure how long it will take to sort his head out'I asked him if I could help sort his problems out and he said he was sick of people fussing and could make his own decisions! I left it by saying bye and haven't heard from him in 3 days now..... it's killing me and I wrote an email pouring my heart out, apologising for not being a better girlfriend and told him he was what I wanted and he didn't reply at all...I know it hasnt been that long... I'm trying to give him some time but I'm not sure if he really means it's over, or there is some shred of hope. It seems strange he has been so reliable and we worked out bigger arguments and then this last one is the one that made him leave!!!! What should I do.... men do you know what he really means by his comments? Does he want me or is he not sure?
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reader, honey62002 +, writes (29 August 2007):
honey62002 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYep, i'll try that, its all i can do I suppose. I feel like he's slipping away the longer i leave it but maybe thats the difference between men and women!
Why are things never straight forward....i'll keep you posted, thanks for your advice, wish you had left your name as i find what you say very interesting!
It's been a week now since he left...but in that time thinking about it i have called or text him nearly every 2 days, (so he is hearing from me, but i'm not from him at all). The last text i sent him was a message saying if you need more time send me a message saying need more time - if its over don't text back...and he didn't! Does that make anymore difference to the situation? Was not texting back his way of saying it was over or do you think he's probably still being stubborn?
Soooooo confused, hope you get this msg. Thanks again.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): no, dont give up on this guy. He's basically trying to show you that he is independent aswell and can live his life too and that he needs his space. i know, i did the same thing myself at the wierdest times and listen, the way a guy regrets what he did is only when the girl acts like she dont give a damn nomore and immediately his hunter instincts kick in to chase you..and that wont be hard as he already loves you. right now just try and refrain from any communication with him for a good 2 and a haf weeks or 3. then if he doesnt call you by then, make contact and just ask him how he's doing and let him know how your enjoying yourself with work/family/friends/a new project etc and how great funny you found it when a guy approached you in a weird manner and just talk. he loves you and hearing your voice will immeaditely kick start his emotions for you...mind you he might be quiet becuase of the shock that your enjoying yourself and then say your kind of busy now and it was nice talking to my old friend and then just hang up. dont inniate contact with him for a month unless he contacts you. if he calls you then just give it every 3 days routine to call him up and see how it goes from there. if it happens that you meet up or chat on the phone, never talk about what happened between the two of you unless its good times and just continue flirting with him and also showing less interest. HE WILL COME RUNNING BACK! I ASSURE YOU AS IT WORKED FOR BOTH ME AND MY FRIEND...ITS WORTH A TRY...HOW MUCH IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WORTH TO YOU...JUST DO IT AND GOOD LUCK!
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2007): y are you sayin sorry for not being abetter girlfriend it was him who said it was over and by the sounds of what you have said you havent done anything wrong its his problem and its not fair for him to be saying things like that to you and then to leave it that he needs time to think hes probally not sure of what he wants but it aint fair for him to be confusing you tho and if i was you i would let him no that,just explain how you feel and that you love him but you cant wait for ever for him 2 make up his mind and its not fair for him to be stringing you along i dnt think he really nos what he wants as most lads find it hard to open up and settle own all i can say tho is that if he really wanted all the things he said then there wouldnt be a problem so he mite be havin second thoughts and if that is the case you could sugest you take things slower if he wanted to gv it another go but if not dnt feel bad its nothing you have done wrong.
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