A
female
age
36-40,
*xxie
writes:My bf and i are together since 1 year and a half. We are spontaneous, laugh and talk about anything and we both consider this relationship as steady and with a future. BUT (there s always a but of course) his ex gf is always in the picture. They are too regularly in contact (for my standards): phone, texting, email (alot of those) and chat like every 2 or 3 days (i think thats the max they cannot go without news from one another). I always feel like im going to throw up/angry/sad/my stomach is churning when i know they were in touch. The excuse they have to continue to be in communication is the pet they used to have together (which was considered like the child they ever had - his ex now has it). I am fed up with it: the only times my bf and I have an argument is because of the ex. he says he loves me but i am so sure he still has feelings/affection for her: they were together for 4 years and she was like his first steady gf and love. I know she is still alot in contact with my bf's parents cause she was considered like the daughter they never had as there were only boys. i am so glad she doesnt live in the same city or else i would go nuts(they meet up for a coffee once every month or 2). i feel like she is still in touch with my bf and playing it as the "good friend" to get him back if my bf and i break up. i feel she is like this because when he dumped her she suddenly realized that they had a good thing going on (he always had to do what she wanted and not the other way around).What made me explode was when he wanted to stay over night at her house when it was her grandmother's funeral (its was 2 hours away from where we live so the journey is easily done in the same day - but i didnt mind him going over there for the day because im not that much of a monster), which was planned for when i would be out of town for a few days. he was all defensive and we never finished our discussion where i told him everything and how hurt i was (he tried to tur it against me). i found out afterwards that he did respect what i had told him and he only spent the day there. But i was/am so mad he was considering sleeping over there. I dont think im a jealous person : i dont mind at all when he goes clubbing without me (with the biggest womanizer in the world), hangs out with female friends. but the friend relationship with his EX is just too weird and makes me SO ANGRY i cannot stand it. i cant stand that they need to know daily details of their life and that he maybe confides to her (about our relationship). I sometimes i wonder if i should consider breaking up with him to stop having these annoying feelings and also because i am insecure that one day maybe they will get back together. But i also think that breaking up just because of his ex is a pity as otherwise, we dont have any other problems. If you would like to share your experience about this or your opinion it would be more then welcome as i cant really discuss this around me (in real life) and im wondering if my feelings are normal?
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