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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I have recently split up from my bf and we were due to still go on a pre booked holiday next week. We had recently become long distance and he wasn't prepared to make any commitments over the next yr so it was supposed to be an amicable split, staying as friends, keeping in touch etc.The 4 day trip was to somewhere I had always wanted to go, we were going to be staying in a youth hostel so sharing a room was not an issue and he knew that I had spent months looking forward to it and researched places to go and things to do... Yesterday when we met he told me he had been offered a couple of days casual work next week and wasn't going on holiday anymore. He told me to go with a friend which is impossible at this short notice and I feel just a kop out so he doesn't feel guilty.I was both gutted and really really angry as he knew how much this meant to me and he has taken away the trip I have always dreamed of for the sake of a couple of hundred pounds. The job pays well but he certainly does not need the money.He says he doesn't see why I'm angry but I have told him I want absolutely nothing to do with him. I am used to him letting me down but my friendship is worth less to him than a couple of days wages and that really hurts.I was ok about the breakup and even looking forward to us being friends and even getting on better without the relationship complications but I am now so angry don't think I can forgive this and losing this friendship is so much more painful than splitting up ever could be but i don't want to go back on my word as he has done this whilst knowing exactly how I felt.All my friends knew how excited I was and he has left me looking like a fool at the last minute. I am dreading next week thinking of where I could be whilst sitting at home... I hate myself for being so angry at him. Am I being harsh for wanting him out of my life? The thought of never speaking to him again just makes me cry but I am sick of being let down.
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female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (28 August 2007):
 Blimey annon,
Thats a bit harsh, have you never felt like that and not wanted to deal with it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): Well obviously when he broke up with you he just wanted to end it completely. But you wanted to keep being in contact with him and being "friends" and maybe he tells you differently but right now he does not want that. In fact he doesn't want to be around you. That is usually how people feel when they break up with someone. I guess knowing this (as you should have) you should have asked him if he was still interested in the trip right when you guys broke up. I think you did not ask him on purpose because you knew he would let you down. So instead you don't say anything about it till the last minute so that he would have to go with you (at least out of guilt and "decency"). And no offense, but that is what you get. Deep down inside you know he does not want to be around you at all. But even so, you pretended to not acknowledge that, and justify the validity of the trip with this whole "we're still friends" pretense when clearly that's not the case at all. And now that he has backed down you are acting shocked. You should have stopped pretending that you guys are still friends, face reality (he doesn't want to be around you), and asked him a looooong time ago about the trip. That way you could have made plans for someone else to join you. I don't think you are as pissed about missing the trip as you are about the fact that your plan failed and he didn't go with you. That is nobody's fault but your own. Next time, wake up and smell the coffee.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (28 August 2007):
Hi,
I hate to say this, but I think you still have a thing for him and thats why you feel so let down.
The reason he is an ex is because there were things wrong in the relationship, and he has just proved that. He is selfish and doesn't care.
Why cant you go on your own, if you cant get a mate to go. If you staying in a hostel there will be others there, and you might make some new friends that you wouldnt have bothered with if he was there.
It could be the oportunity to close the door on your ex, and move on. You could have a great time.
Please go, and anyway whats the worst that could happen!! Its crap and you come home early. He doesn't need to know that does he?.
XX
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