A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I hope someone can help me out here as I am in such a mess. I know I will get through this but it is hard all the same. My boyfriend and I split two months ago and there has been no contact. I called him a couple of days ago to ask if we could meet to iron out our differences...we will be working together on a project together. He said that he did not think it was a good idea as he did not want to go back to where we were and he was going away with his new girlfriend. He said he still cared but it was not a good idea. One of his friends will be working on this project too and when I went home I responded in a curt and rude way to his email because I was feeling so bummed out. The friend wrote back giving me what for for being rude and I would agree I was a bit rough and I emailed to respond and say I am sorry but he is not responding back. I hurt him. I have to work with both of these people on a major presentation and it is a big big mess. I have my ex who is acting arrogant and insensitive and his friend who I have hurt. I do not want to withdraw from this project...I do not want to give these guys the power but I do not think I can cope with this. Please...any suggestions appreciated.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): You have now emailed his friend to apologise so leave it now. What does he want you to do - draw blood? Do not give his friend another thought as he is just siding with your ex and being immature. Even if he does email you back, I would refrain from emailing him back and yo-yoing back and forth. Leave that be - he should just get on and deal with it. You now have to separate yourself emotionally as much as possible from your ex. You have to work on a project together - do you feel comfortable doing this? If not, then back down, do not bad about there - there will other presentations - but if you are keen to work on this, then stick to your guns and be professional about it. You must not ask to meet your ex again, even if it is to iron out any differences. This will give him ammunition to think there is another reason you have asked to meet (and he sounds arrogant enough without you giving him any more reason to be). Be really strong - even if you feel like crying - keep smiling whilst you are working with them, don't bring up ANY past events to them, and if they mention anything from the past then smile and change the subject. See them during this project as two co-workers and that's it completely. Then it becomes their problem and not yours. Good luck babe, remember that to keep your dignity you have to keep your distance. Best of luck xx
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