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age
30-35,
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writes: I went to my boyfriends today we had sex but he knew i didnt get anything from it all i care about is holding him close not pleasure, he got really annoyed that i didnt and when i got upset saying its not his fault he told me to get out of his house i dumped him because of this im soo upset i want him so mcuh what should i do? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (21 June 2007):
 He got upset because of himself, not because of you. He felt bad that he couldn't give you pleasure (at least how he thought he should). That made him feel like he failed, so he got upset. Men like to see themselves as 'good at sex', what happened made him feel that he wasn't. Often when people get upset with someone else, they are really upset with themselves and are just putting the negative energy in the wrong place.
You should meet up with him and talk about it. Tell him how you felt, and ask him how he felt. If you can both talk about what you want, and if you tell him that you like him and want to be his girlfriend, then you should be able to repair things. Good luck.
A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (21 June 2007):
 Hi Gemma,
He got mad because ultimately he didn't satisfy you. I think maybe he felt a bit embarassed or something along those lines, but instead of talking about it like he should have, he ended up getting angry. I think since he didn't want to "take the blame" and make himself look bad, he decided to get angry at you and "shift the blame." That was my first take on it, anyway.
Has he ever done this before? If this is his first time lashing out, maybe you'd want to try talking with him again. But if he's done this even once before, then it's obvious he's not ready to be having sex if he's unwilling to talk about how to pleasure you without getting angry.
You know, I probably would have reacted the same way as you did. I mentioned trying to talk with him again, but I think that *he* should be the one to contact you first, as *he* is the one who acted out of line here. If he doesn't want to talk with you and apologizing for acting like an ass, then I think you're better off without him. I know it's easy for me to sit here and say that since I'm not in your shoes...but try looking at it from an outside perspective. If you read your problem as an agony aunt, what would you recommend?
Take care.
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female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (21 June 2007):
 Hunnie. If all he cares about is sex and he gets in a huff about it, it's his problem and he had no right to tell you to get out when it wasn't your fault. Just coz he gets his knickers in a twist doesn't mean he has the right to give you such disrespect. You did the right thing. I know it's hard but you can do much better than him.
xxx
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A
female
reader, Ask_HanBan  +, writes (21 June 2007):
 find a guy that treats you right and doesnt go off on one cos u didnt feel the same way he did.
talk to him and try to get him to look at it from your point of view
gd lk
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