A
male
age
30-35,
*0ct0rstupid
writes:Stayed up all night thinking about a thing my girlfriend did in the past. My girlfriend is 17 now and we've been together for a year. We are really in love and she is my best friend. I'm away at college and I gave her a promise ring when I left. She told me in the beginning of the relationship, that she was a virgin, and talked about her sexual past. She had had 2 boyfriends and they had oral sex.After I left for school, she went partying a couple times. Since then she said she knows it's wrong to be doing that all the time and hasn't since. But it made me more curious about her past and I asked last night if there was anything that she hadn't told me. She went through everything she already did, but then I said I mean everything like hooking up at a party or just a kiss or whatever. She said, OH yeah. About 2 and a half years ago she had a reunion with her 1st boyfriend and their group of friends, and they all had some to drink. She was talking to her ex-boyfriend in private and then they started getting physical. She told me that she was giving him head when another guy friend walked in and came over and she gave them both head at the same time. I was completely shocked. I'll be completely open that I got turned on by it. I was turned on at the same time that I was shaking and crying. I didn't know how to handle it, and she got upset. Though, she was very understanding of it. By the end I just told her it was really shocking to learn after kind of having an idea of her past and then adding that in after a year. I told her that her past wouldn't affect the way I feel about her. But, I kept saying how could you keep this from me? She said she didn't think of it. I don't know other than it's in my head now and I had to talk to someone else about it because me bringing it up with her a lot could be damaging.Maybe there is a double standard about a girl needing to seem pure. But, this has changed the way I thought of her past in that it was somewhat innocent. She said she didn't know what she was doing at the time (14 years old) and realizes how wrong it is now. She insists that I changed her and she never has to be like that again and she has me forever. It was just a shocking discovery. But, I love her very much and am not sure how to handle this.Any help is greatly appreciated.
View related questions:
best friend, her ex, her past, oral sex, sexual past Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2008): It sounds like you both were raised quite differently on the 'value' of sex.Teenagers have been so 'desensitized' about the depth of it, they don't 'think' it's anything special, except that you're stimulating a persons body to react. They're not thinking clearly (if they haven't been taught) about all the consequences of a cheap fling. Kids using kids...how bass and unmeaningful is that?!You're a great guy to give her a ring to symbolize her sexual pureness is cherished, and to be a gift only for You.That's why she loves you so much. You've shown her a deeper lover for herself, and inspired her to believe it's something Very Special!
A
male
reader, d0ct0rstupid +, writes (4 November 2008):
d0ct0rstupid is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes I was a virgin, as well. I had never even had a sexual experience before her. Thank you for your input.
...............................
A
male
reader, d0ct0rstupid +, writes (4 November 2008):
d0ct0rstupid is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes I was a virgin, as well. I had never even had a sexual experience before her.
...............................
A
male
reader, d0ct0rstupid +, writes (4 November 2008):
d0ct0rstupid is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSomething to add is that I get off on this thought of what she did. It's just about the hottest thing ever to me, yet its made me feel worse overall than anything really ever has.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2008): People do strange things, and then regret them. I'm sure this is the case with her. From what you said, she certainly doesn't dwell on the memory, in fact it seems she has tried to forget it, you should too. This has nothing to do with how she feels about you, it can however, if you let it.
BTW, what is your sexual history? Where you a virgin before her?
...............................
|
