A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I think I may be bi? I have a best friend who is a "straight" girl- I am closer to her than any other person I know. We literally spend all of our time together. We sleep next to each other whenever she's over. We change and I even talk to her while she's in the shower. About a year ago we started messing around when she slept over. We never really talk about it though.I also have a boyfriend. He's great- but a little distant. We've only been dating since the summer and I feel that he doesn't actually like me as much as I had thought. We've kissed and stuff- but nothing too intense. He's very conservative and doesn't believe in moving too fast. I'm in love with my friend... or at least I think I am... but I don't know what to say or do? I know I should probably end it with my bf- but once again I don't know what to do or how she feels-
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2009): I may be diverging, but it seems as though you are afraid to be single. It is not okay to be in a relationship with one person and yet have feelings for another person. You would jump into a relationship with your female friend if she reciprocates the feelings, but you're not willing to leave your boyfriend otherwise. That shows you have insecurities. End it with your boyfriend first and then see where your feelings will lead you. You can't jump from one relationship to another. No matter what you think, breaking up takes time. It's not fair to anybody including you. You need time to heal and think about what you really want. On another note, yes, I do believe your friend has feelings for you too. And if she denies it, then she is confused, which is also completely normal considering her age and experience. But no matter what, your potential relationship with her is secondary to your current situation. Do not allow the the two to mix. Fix the situation with your boyfriend and then pursue her. And if you end up single? Why, what's wrong with that? Being single allows you to learn a lot about yourself, especially after you've experienced a relationship. Plus, you are young and there are plenty of fish in the sea. You should be with the one that you just can't live without. I wish you the best of luck. Sorry if I sounded harsh, but this post was truly for your emotional well being. All the best.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAs for how far we've gone... first it was just touching each other's boobs, and then to fingering... and then to oral sex. And my friend talks about like thinking about dating girls so I'm not sure she's just bi-curious...
As for my boyfriend this has never overlapped. I never cheated on him. I would feel really guilty about that. It's just that I miss it sometimes. He's unbelievably sweet and I am attached to him too physically. It's just that sex with a guy has more complications (pregnancy sometimes even with condoms I'm not on the pill...)
I would date her in public if she wanted to. And I feel like I need to do something. Maybe talk to her. Yet if I lost her - or if I lost him I'm not sure what I would do.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009): Even if your friend doesn't like you the same way back, end it with your boyfriend. Its not fair to him (or you) to be in this relationship when you're in love with someone else.
Being bisexual simply means you find both gender physically attractive, and you also are able to fall in love with both genders. Many women find other women beautiful without meaning they are bisexual. And then you have the bicurious, which it sounds like your friend might be. The bicurious are "straight" but fascinated by the thought of being with someone of the same gender, and like to experiment. They however will not commit to someone of the same sex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009): well if youve messed around with her befroe then im sure she probly may have have the same feelings i would tell her and put things to a hualt with you bf untill you get things with herstraightendout hope that helpd
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009): When you say you have done stuff with her, what does this include? Have you ever talked about and does anyone else know?
How often are your boyfriend and you talking to each other?
If it's not often, then is there really much point in being wth him? And like you say, you don't really seem that interested in him, so is there much point?
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