A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am in my 40's and only really started dating after my mother past away some 5 years ago. Well 3 years ago I met a guy but wanted to take things slowly since I had a constant fear of someone coming in and taking half my house. Anyway, I went around to my guys house but would not let him come around to mine. We dont have sex very often but I did see him as my future. However, I found out that he had been with a hooker. He explained that he need an outlet given that our relationship was static. I forgave him but then he admitted he had gone with a hooker again a few months ago and used the same reason to justify his action. I do feel partly to blame since I should be more open and inviting. Should I drop my defences and let him move in so we can start a real relationship. I want a child and feel this is my last chance. I do love him despite what he has done.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2009): You should realise that having a baby changes a woman and if you are not up for having sex regular now it will be even less after you have had a baby as nature made us this way (unfortunately) Women spend most of their energy doting on their newborn. If he has a taste for prostitutes now he is not going to change and his excuse is "Its your fault!" Please! Please! avoid future heartache i am sure he is not worth the pain
A
male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (29 March 2009):
 HE IS LYING! He would have gone to a prostitute anyway! I would put up more defenses, there is no excuse for seeking sex in this way, if he loved you he would respect you and your wishes and talk about issues instead of going off and paying for sex.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2009): hi,
Yes, you could drop your defenses and start the "real" relationship--but he would/will still go to the prostitute.
Good luck and follow your heart. (You can always adopt or get artifical insemination.)
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