A
male
age
26-29,
*mNotHere1997
writes:I just found out that my mom is or used to be a porn star. Although, I've heard about this from my cousins who I meet once a year on thanksgiving. Naturally, I thought that was lies, and figured that they were just trying to mess with my head. They often do that.So, I thought this was just another way for them to mess with my head. They've been doing this every thanksgiving for the past three years. But, during this year's thanksgiving they gave me her stage name. So, later I started browsing and after a while I found things with that stage name. It was a name used in films that were pornography. I saw part of a video. Not all of it. I just wanted to make sure it was her. I was petrified after learning about this. I'm not sure if she's still doing it. Should I ask my mom why she chose to do this? Should I be mad at her? Should I say something about it?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2012): I did not notice this was a male poster. I apologize for making reference as if this was a teenage girl in another response.
I am still sorry you have to deal with this. Besides all the female references, everything else still applies!
Again, sorry for my mistake!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2012): I'm so sorry. I'm sorry you are going to have to live with this over your head and the potential embarrassment if this should ever get out down the road. Hopefully not...growing up is hard enough..finding out your Mom allowed herself to get into that industry...man, that's rough.
There really isn't anything you can do to change the situation, what's done is done.
What you CAN do is NOT fall into the same footsteps, respect yourself and do better for yourself. Do the best you can in school, get involved with an activity that you enjoy, get a job when you are old enough, gratuate from high school and do whatever it takes to go to college and make something fantastic of yourself.
Women do not get into porn just to do it. Feel badly for her and the poor choice she made. There are so many sad reasons why women do this (there are none that are positive) and hopefully she will protect you and keep what ever happened to her growing up, from happening to you.
Don't for a second believe that you have to perform sexual acts of any kind to get or keep a boyfriend, don't ever think you have to flaunt yourself to boys or the only way to be happy is to have sex with everyone...just don't go in that direction. Please, it's hard for you to understand the consequences at your age, and I hope your mother realizes this and has gotten out of that mess for your sake. Often an excuse is the money was good and easy....um no. There is a price far greater and a stable women who did not have a shattered background would know this, so be prepared to hear something like this response if you do decide to ask her. Just forgive her, and don't do the same thing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2012): Everybody knows their own mother when they see her, BUT, was the video clear enough for you to get a detailed look at the woman's face so you can be sure its her? Your cousins might have come across this video and the details online, thought the woman resembled your mother to an extent, and decided they would just pull another prank on you.
If it is her and you can be sure of that 100%, then I don't think you should ask her directly, maybe don't even ask her yet, she'll likely not tell you at your age anyway. If you want to hear the truth from her, I'd wait until you're a few years older and then just bring it up in general conversation, like maybe talk to her about jobs and careers, then slowly work up to asking her about her life and what type of work she has done in her life etc...(She may never tell you, but i think its possibly one of the more realistic ways to go about this)
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