Maybe I imagined he liked me, or maybe he did and I hurt him.

A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm 22 and never dated. It was never important me until now. I had crushes but didn't care about them even if the guy felt the same. I wanted to make something of myself. I always thought there was more to life then to have someone by your side and let alone about marriage( that was yuck to me lol). I never really notice my crush until later on the semester. I never really paid attention to my feelings i was used to it but something about him made me really fall for him. Whats funny is that he was the total opposite of someone I would fall for. He was shy but when talked to he was outgoing. I wanted to approach him but he would give me this cold stare and it scared me away. As days past i started to realized that he was always aware of me. There was this time where i passed right in front of him and i felt this strong sort of a shock vibe. i was two seats away from him and i felt naked and scared. I suppressed my feeling and as more time passed by it became worse to the point I felt ugly and lame. I noticed that he was scared of me also in which i didnt understand. I didnt think of myself interesting and let alone i smart so i didnt understand. i just thought he he like my appearance. I started to notice that every time i participate in class or talked to my classmates he away had my attention to the point that i thought he liked to hearing my voice. he did approach me once and gave me this intense stare. his eyes express desire but i got scared and confuse. Guys always stare at me its really uncomfatable but i learn to deal with it. one reason i wasnt sure he liked me because he didnt do this i realized he respected me but ya i would catch him when he did but i acted like was to busy to notice. the last day of class came and as i was preparing to leave notice he wanted to talk to me but i didnt wanted him to because i wanted him to meet a better girl then i was. His white and comes from a loving family as for me im mexican american and i was abused by my mother. my family here illegally we never left the state and country so, i never had any experiences. im ashamed of my past. i dont want to annoy him and let him down. i glad we never talked. I now start to believe that i dont deserve to be with anyone because ive always been a failure. I dont know but i feel like i hurt him in some way. His problably hurt that i dont like him back and i dont want him to feel that way. to me he's special. so im wondering if he's hurt or all this time i was imaging things. ive never had something so intense in my life. im starting to see things i never saw before.

View related questions: crush, shy

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