A
female
age
41-50,
*ollyanna
writes:I 've been married 16 years now and married very young (when I was 18). Truth be told, I love my husband, but he is boring me to tears. I can't have a decent conversation with him. He doesn't talk. He's the quiet type and is completely opposite of me in every way. Is there anything I can do? I get really frustrated sometimes but you'd think after all this time, I'd be used to it... but I'm not.Signed,Silent partner Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): If you can, can you not try and think of all of the good that your husband does for you, rather than think of this one negative? I don't mean that in a harsh way, but sometimes people get fixed on one negative rather than all of the good.
There is also of course something that your husband needs to do, last time he replied that he doesn't need to be communicative. That's great - but you do, and you need to make it known as more of an issue rather than just a question so that he tries to change to make you happier.
To do this he should work to build on enjoying a good conversation, as husband and wife, this is something he should be able to do. When people make conscious efforts to change like this, pretty soon it becomes automatic. He should start at something like asking how your day went, something that allows you to just have a light talk and get off your feelings of the day so that you feel he is understanding you. I think if he knew how much you would respond to him, physically and emotionally, by having this emotional closeness, he'd wish he had done it a long time ago!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): maybe he just doesnt think he has anything interesting to talk about. how about taking some classes together, cooking,painting,dance classes or visiting new places that you can discover and discuss?
hope this helps
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A
female
reader, pollyanna +, writes (18 April 2007):
pollyanna is verified as being by the original poster of the question We have talked about it. He doesn't see it that way because he doesn't have the need to be communicative. He's happy being quiet and not having as much conversation.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): You should talk to your husband about how you feel... maybe he feels the same way. You could work things out, but also keep in mind that just because you're married to someone doesn't mean that you have to be with them forever.
Good luck!
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