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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi, Im 23yr old and just married (approx 3 months) and I have good job, great husband and you would think tha I would be happy!!!.. But I have been only with 1 guy ever since I was 20 and his my first and only sexual partner.... I have sometimes wonder what it would be like to have been with someone sexually before I met my husband and it kinda scares me as my feelings come and go and I feel very confused. Im not the type to cheat or be unfaithful but Its obvious that my heart is having mixed emotions... What should I do or say to my husband?? Thanks Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to Irish49,Ady & Mr36
My situation hasn't changed, but you have made me see sense and to continue what I think will be a great marriage and I just need to control my emotions and get on with life. I will take all your advice on board and you are right "Grass is not always greener"
Thanks again guys!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2007): Keep this one to yourself sweetness, being with other people is so over-rated i'm 36 and ive been with heaps but i'd give anything to have had your true love at your age!! :)Dont worry about your insecurities ok its normal realise you have a special guy here!! And that the grass is not always greener no matter how good sex is when comparing other people! Its how much someone cares and loves u that counts or you might miss that and believe me its a long time between drinks if you throw away someone who cares about you.
Luv Mr 36!
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A
male
reader, ady  +, writes (28 January 2007):
 since you are married now i think you should try hard to find the sutible together life with your husband and try to forrget other emotions; just; to continue your life in normal manner otherwise i think you should be very clear and go direct to your husband to tell him every thing.
best regard;
ady
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2007): Hun, while many of us are in loving, committed relationships, a good amount of us do sometimes wonder what it's like to be with other people, in the sexual sense. But the big difference between you and these other people who experience these thoughts, is you clearly state 'you are not happy' That is an important point you made there. Because while many of us have fleeting thoughts, of other partners, we are generally happy and the thoughts just go away as fast as they came into mind. But you are unhappy and this needs to addressed. Don't be too hard on yourself over this. Most people need to explore other relationship possibilities with several people before they settle down. It's sometimes difficult to know who you are and what you want from relationships, if you've only ever been involved in the one. The grim reality is that many people then go on to explore other possibilities after they've married. We certainly would not like to see you do that. You need to talk to your husband, openly and honestly and see if perhaps you can both get into couples counseling. A trained professional maybe able to really help you better than us Aunts can here on this site. You both need to help each other and do some soul searching and decide what is best for you. But I recommend you do it now, because if you put this off, in a few years you and he will have house mortgage, car payments, possibly a kid or two, a cat and two dogs, it won't be so easy to up and leave to go find yourself and get your thoughts straightened out. I wish you the best, dear and take care.
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