A
female
age
,
*oster
writes: i have been married for 27 years and its become very stale in the last 15 years and my husband has lost his sex drive. i know medication is causing this but he won't do anything about it. we haven't kissed properly in all this time as he doesn't like kissing. I feel like I have everything in life but the one thing I want which is affection and just someone to desire me. we have tried to talk about it a million times but the ends up very annoyed and tells me that people our age don't kiss anymore or have sex for that matter. I have already had an affair which was really just sex and now years on I have met another guy and we have been friends for 5 years. He wont have sex as he feels too guilty as he is married but we have had some intimacy and kissing. we try not to see each other but inevitably we do and we are sensible enough to know it won't go anywhere as he has kids and doesn't want anyone to get hurt. my husband is lovely but i feel like a pressure cooker about to explode. I cry all the time when I am alone
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2007): i honestly would sit him down and give him an ultimadum. if i were you, i'd tell him that you cannot go on like this in an unfullfilled marraige, so either go to a couples therapist and work things out, or walk. i think it might be hard for you after all those years to leave him, but maybe giving him the scare will help him get the picture. a therapist could help sort things out, especially with him and maybe they could get to the root of whats bothering him, if it's not just from the medication. and if it is, he should look into a differen't one. if you're that upset, it's only going to get worse from here. you've only got one life and after all those years together, he should care more than he seems to that you're so upset. good luck!
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