A
female
age
51-59,
*exi36
writes:Dear cupid,I have been married for 14 yrs now and I am still very attracted to my husband. Before i met him i didn't care if i had sex or not. It was no big deal. After having sex with him, I realized what i was missing, Its been great ever since,. He also taught me so many things, things that i never did before or even heard of. I don't want to be with anyone else because I am still attracted to him. My problem is lately hes been talking abt being with other woman. younger ones, girls with bigger breasts and wanting another girl sucking his cock. I did get an escort for him and she did give him head and left. we hung out a couple of times after that (not thru the escort service) hung out and partied and we both went down on him. She even took care of me and i had a great time,. my question is: Is this normal that my husband thinks abt having sex with other girls? He wants to have 2 girls sucking his cock, and he enjoys watching me suck his best friends dick. Is this good for our marriage?lexi36
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2009): It's alot more common than people realize. It's just something people don't disscuss openly. As long as you set bounderies and stay within those boundedies you will be fine.
A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (19 June 2009):
 Well if you are comfortable doing it...I mean usually I am a absolutist about cheating(as in no excuse...read some of my posts as how I treat cheaters on this site) but you bring up a completely different dynamic. Both of you are interested in it and have already engaged in it TOGETHER.
As long as you and your hubby have constant communication then it is entirely your affair. Normally I would admonish you that you cant find love in your relationship if you are looking outside of it.
But you may actually be a rare case that since you undertake this together and consensually, and both you and your hubby are not seemingly affected by it.
BUT:
Keep in mind that one of those big titted girls just might float his boat some night, and even though you and the hooker sucked him off together, are you able to deal with the moans of ecstasy that may be emitted from another woman if he fucks her in front of you?
I have done threesomes and orgies in my life before with women(I was single at the time, as were we all in every case), so I cant answer that based on being married. But even in a group sex situation there can and will be jealousies to some extent(paying too much attention to one individual, etc)
But keep i9 mind that there is a jealousy aspect that is natural in all of us. But as long as you both TRULY love each other and do this together(and not have him sneaking off to do it behind your back or vice versa(which ends up happening more than you can imagine)and you are both secure enough in your marriage to handle it...I mean 14 years is a long time, then have at it.
But the second that it becomes something other than that, it will be problematic.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2009): While I can not relate at all to you and your husband wanting to be involved with anyone else at all (prehaps i'm just insecure), I think some pretty iniversal, biased-free advice would be to say that Anything is fine until it starts making people feel uncomfortable or insecure.
I guess there were certain things that you left your mind opoen to and allowed in your relationship, but you should recognize your boundaries and respect them. Otherwise, you're only hurting yourself and setting yourself up for future pain.
So I guess what i'm saying, is it doesn't really matter what's "normal." It only matters how far you are willing to go without compromising your happiness.
~SY.
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A
female
reader, bored88  +, writes (19 June 2009):
how long have you guys been doing this?
what do you think about when you and anthor girl are going down on him? i think their will be problems in the future. it might be all fun and games now, but sooner or later someone will get jealous and put a strain on the marriage.
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A
female
reader, laura585 +, writes (19 June 2009):
I think if you are both completely comfortable with it and its not causing jealousy or other marital issues then its not a big deal. There are a lot of swinger couples out there. It's just their preference. I know a couple who has three children and have been happily married for at least 9 years. They are swingers, they find other couples and switch sex partners and watch each other having sex with the other couple. I mean, if it's not causing any harm like if you are okay with it completely and so is he then you should have fun with it. Just be wary of the dangers of involving others in the bedroom, like diseases and unplanned pregnancy and what not, but I'm sure you've already thought about that! :) However, if you don't like the idea then talk it out with your husband and let him know your concerns. Hope this helps!
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