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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have a problem with my life right now. I am married and have been with my husband for over 10 years. I love him alot and there is nothing that I wouldn't do for him. While we were separated, I was chatting on-line with someone far away. I thought we would stop talking to each other, but our friendship continued throughout the whole separation, and our friendship became closer and we started to have more feelings with each other. I fell in love with someone I never met. We have still kept in contact and that has been for 4 years of the 10 I have been with my husband.I know we don't know what its like to be around each other, I just know him in my heart and how he feels about me. When I engaged to marry my husband, he was going visit me and try to convince me that he was the one I should be with. The timing couldn't have been more off, and I was upset that he thought of asking me to do that 1 week before my wedding, I was so stressed I couldn't handle my thoughts. Needless to say I married my husband. Our wedding was fantastic, but I have to admitt, I still kept thinking about the other man. My husband and I are going away on holiday, and it just happens to be in the place where he lives. However, I know if I saw him he would try to take me away from my husband, and it would be convincing. I never met him so I feel like I want closure. Just wondering if you think its wrong to see someone behind your husband's back to say hello and goodbye. Or just to see what you missed. We still talk, I can't stop it, I thought I would forget him but I haven't. I still love him. I just gave up on him too soon, and fell back in love with my husband. What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2006): You married your husband, the man YOU KNOW AND LOVE. This bloke you know nothing of. Grow up, be strong and let go and be a good wife to your husband. How would you feel if it was the other way around? You've got a good thing going with the man you are married to so wake up, realise that and dont ruin it for a bloke you have never met.
A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (16 November 2006):
 You don't love him because you haven't had a relationship based in the real world with this guy. He could be very different from the person you think he is and honestly this comes down to integrity - if he is trying to stop your wedding and you think he would take you away now if he had the chance then he is not a very nice person. Firstly because he is taking drastic action for a woman he has never even met! Now that is odd to start with...and secondly, because he is ruining your chances of happiness with the man you married. It sounds like you have a good marriage that maybe running a little stale and you are drifting to thoughts of internet guy - no point meeting him because it would be motivated by the prospect of an affair or a relationship with him. Think of your husband and concentrate on the people you really 'know' (i.e your husband). Forget the guy on the internet - god knows how many women he chats to online and what is going on in his offline life...maybe he is married too!
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