A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:tomorrow makes 1 year for our marriage and we aren't even talking to each other. he's very loving, caring, nice but he doesn't take care of business especially with money properly.i can ask him something and he will sit there and say nothing and then if i say you're being petty he blows up and completely loses focus on the real issue. he gets an attitude and walks around with a frown and everyone is saying whats wrong with him and i make excuses for him he focuses on small petty things instead of getting to the root of the problem. sometimes i feel like just walking away but i think that we can work it out....is it worth it?? he always talk a good talk when i say i'm leaving but it goes back to the same after2 days
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female
reader, janetmf +, writes (19 May 2008):
 I wish I had gotten out after one year. But 27 years later and 4 kids I have finally had enough. But how am I going to start over at 50? I always hoped and prayed things would change and be better. They would for a little while but then back to the same old stuff. If you want advice which you do I would tell you to get out. There are many other really nice guys out there. I think if your relationship is like this now only after a year it will only get worse. Then add kids to it. It will be harder to leave then and be a single parent. Sure he will talk you into staying. But you need to ask yourself if you are willing to spend the rest of your life living like this. Please get out now. You are young and deserve and can have a much better life. Let me know how it goes.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): Glad I could be of help. You know, you married a real stupid man, but since their all stupid, he's probably the best of a bad bunch. Sorry but it's true. Your clever than him, so go gentlely. I wish you lots of luck......
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have never had someone tell me to sit back and look at it from his view. after reading DiovanLestat answer i laughed to myself because it's true. he may do think i nag all the time. and yes we were perfect before "i do" so i am going to try to relax and ask him rather than tell him. i do need to read some communication book on how to talk to your spouse. i defintely don't want some chick talking to my hubbie. that's why i married him because he was so sweet and i don't see it really anymore i guess because to him i'm always nagging....
THANKS ALOT!!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008): Welcome to the world of the married woman. Your situation is not unique, a lot of women find themselves battering their head against a brick wall when it comes to communicating with their husband.
YOU MARRIED HIM. YOUR HIS WIFE. YOU PROMISED TO STAY FOR BETTER OR WORSE.
Men have very different communication styles from women. You need to pick up a copy of the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" from your local bookstore or libary. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Men-Mars-Women-Venus-Relationships/dp/0007152590/ref=pd_sim_b?ie=UTF8&qid=1211106226&sr=8-1
You speak as if your in a battle with your husband. He blows up, he loses focus on the "real issue", he's got an attitude.
You of course are wonderful, rational, calm, and perfect in every way. If only he would change, you say. But put yourself in his shoes, to him you argue all the time about unimportant things. You keep nagging him, you put him down, he dosen't feel good about himself, he's got problems but he's frightened to tell you because you don't seem interested in anything but yourself and what you want. He'd love things to go back to how it was before you got married. He'd love to just have fun and laughter with you like before, but you seemed to have changed since you both got married. He dosen't want to leave you and he dosen't want to cheat, but there's a girl he knows that fancies him, and she understands him like nobody else, she makes him feel good.
Leave if you want to. I mean life is short and out of the billions of people living on the planet. But if you want to keep your husband, realise that he's a man not a woman. He dosen't think like you. He wants to be happy and he can't understand why you keep nagging him rather than trying to lighten up and make your marriage work. Your in a partnership, honey, provide him with guidance, love and accept him the way he is, rather than trying to change him all the time. Get some self help books on good communication and try to find some techniques that really work.
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