A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i am 19 and have been married for 8 months and it still hurts like crazy every time my husband and i have sex. any advice on this! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, shandygirl +, writes (31 December 2007):
 I used to have the same problem. The reason is that you are most likely nervous, and with that, you don't lubricate, so you are DRY...and also your vagina tightens up, making it even worse. Even though you love your husband, you still aren't comfortable with SEX. When sex doesn't feel good, then everytime you have sex, you anticipate that it will not feel good. So therefore you tense up, tighten up, & don't lubricate. I am 52 yrs old now, and finally I got to the point that I actually like & crave sex, because I am with someone who takes his time....
I agree with the person that said that he is ready before you. He needs to take time to make you ready, instead of ramming it. Tell him to rub the head of his (KY'd) "Thing" back and forth against the outside of your vagina for a while... It is exciting. Then gently probe little by little until he feels that you are lubricated enough.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2007): Sweet-thing's advice is all excellent, particularly the advice about foreplay. The right kind and amount of foreplay normally results in enough natural female lubricant to ease penetration. Some women are perhaps especially small (or tight), like many Asian or petite women in my experience, requiring extreme patience on behalf of the man, going very slow and easy until she gradually loosens, relaxes and generates enough lubricant. This also applies to the first time for a lady. Your man may be a bit too eager. Otherwise, medical examination or consultation may be advisable.
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (30 December 2007):
 Do you enjoy having sex?...(Some women don't)...The other possibility is that your husband is ready to go before you are and if you aren't lubricated in the nether-region you will be dry and intercourse will be painful. You may need to use K-Y jelly, or teach your husband to spend more time on foreplay so that both of you are in the mood before penetration. If it is none of those things, you may need to visit your physician. There are a couple of conditions some women experience, that make sex painful for them. Check it out. Good luck.
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