A
female
age
,
*mms
writes:Help... In 2 weeks I celebrate my 20th wedding anniversary. but after dealing with the fact that my "loving" husband cheated on me with a prostitute i want out. He also contacted old girl friend on computer and flirts all the time with other women. I'm a breast cancer survivor of 10 years. Ever since the diagnosis that's when he started looking and treated me differently toward sex. Long story short....this is what it has come to. We have 2 amazing kids. One is off to college this year and the other starts highschool. ugh.... i now just see him as a disgusting creepy perve/man and I don't even want to be in the same room. Sad thing is... this prostitute thing happened three years ago. I'm just sick of trying to be the "loving" wife and look the other way. I regret giving my whole life to this man for marriage and kids. I never finished college, I'm close to 50, completely dependent on him, and miserable. When we met 25 years ago, I fell into the old... "I love you and will take care of you" bs. This was his "old school" italian way of thinking but look where it has got us!! Please help me cause I feel so traped.
View related questions:
anniversary, cheated on me, flirt, prostitute, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, shellycg  +, writes (3 June 2012):
 Hi there, its never too late, you need to look at the financial side of things of course and that goes without saying - but if you really want out then you have to do it for your sanity .. its never too late, also his past is never going to go away and if you cant bare to be with him in the same room then its time to leave , he will always be speaking , flirting with girls, and he sees no wrong in that , but you have to be happy with yourself and your life and to do that you need to leave him before its too late. x
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (3 June 2012):
 YOu wish has given you great advice. YOU need to start to determine EXACTLY where you will pick up the pieces of this life that you've squandered.... AND, start the NEW life that you WILL HAVE that will be GREAT!!!!!!
Good luck.....
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (3 June 2012):
 Two priceless words: Spousal Support.
Before saying ONE WORD to him about how you are feeling and are wanting out, get a full, and I mean FULL idea of what your marital assets and liabilities are. All bank accounts, retirement pensions, 401(k)'s, investment portfolios, full life insurance policies, everything. Then secure a lawyer BEFORE breaking it to your husband that you want out. You do not want to make the announcement before doing your homework, as it will be easy for him to try and hide assets, and quite simply, you might not know everything too.
The laws acknowledge that you made choices that contributed to the marriage, and protect you from being thrown on your ear when the marriage dissolves.
You also need to decide your plans for custody of your high school kid and plans for the marital house.
Now, to take this step, there must be no doubt that you want out. If you want to save the marriage, you might want to pursue counseling first. Either way you choose, a very full idea of your financial situation is essential. I don't know if you pay the bills or not, but if you don't, it's time to know them better than your husband does.
...............................
|
