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anonymous
writes: I'm 22 and I've been married to my husband for 3 years. We have a baby. I think I have been chasing empty dreams. I have always imagined being in love feeling so differently, that I am questioning my marriage. I always look around at other men questioning my possible happiness with them. Is being in love an accumulation of feelings due to shared experiences or is it something that you know right away? Am I suppose to feel it in my stomach every time I see him? How can I stop being so fickle? Do I talk myself into loving him and staying with him? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A reader, Lou, writes (23 March 2005): Love is a mixture of those things. Yes, it is an accumulations of feelings due to shared experiences which you will gain throughout your life together. Love isnt always something you know straight away as it can grow.You ask this, so i assume you are not in love? Where you ever with your husband? Marriage is hard and is all about compromise and sometimes difficult struggles. There are going to be times when you doubt it, when you start looking at other men and question your future with them. In all honesty, i do it. But this is just a passing glance. The one who is going to give you a future is your husband. That is, if you want him to. Love is not all the slushy stuff you see in films and it doesnt grip your stomach everytime. Yes, there are times but not every time. Do you catch yourself looking at him sometimes? Do you catch yourself writing his name on a pad whilst on the phone? Do you hate sleeping in your bed without him? Do you speak everyday over phone even tho you have seen him during the day? Things like this is love. Don't worry if you're not feeling the "Hollywood" love, every love is different. Don't follow what other people tell you, follow your heart. If your heart is telling you genuinly that you are not in love, you need to talk to your husband. If your heart tells you that you are, perhaps a night away from your baby, a meal or something, some quality time with each other. Just so you can feel again what you did when you married him. It may just be on the tip of your emotions, clouded by everyday stresses? Good luck.
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