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male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I have had a long time friend who is a beautiful deaf woman. Sometime we communicate through writing words or drawing pictures. We often greet each other with hugs and kisses. She kisses quite nice and she is quite attractive. I would like to create more intimacy with her and become closer. Judging from her facial expressing I think that she may want this as well. Would sex be a way to bring us closer and establish intimacy? She is a normal woman except she is deaf. I assume that she could enjoy sex despite the fact that she can't hear. I assume that it is natural for me to want to become closer and more intimate and make love to with her. How could I bring up the subject of sex to her and get her feelings about it? How can I let her know that I think she is sexy, attractive, and that I would like for us to become closer, or intimate, and become lovers? If we do end up making love/ having sex at some point what information do you have about sex with a deaf woman? I would guess that touching, body language, and non-verbal expression would be important. Would extended foreplay be important to a deaf woman? She is use to taking the lead to create how own opportunities, what advice do you have for getting her to receive pleasure? What advice do you have about her communicating her desires to me and visa versa in bed? Are there recommended sex positions to use with a deaf partner? I would guess that positions that would allow for her hands to be free and her face to be visible would be important. Of those could you recommend a few? How could I make love making/ having sex an enjoyable and satisfying experience for her? I want to show her that I love a care about her. It may be fun for us to learn sexual sign language together. I don?t think she know about that. It does not seem as common as other expressing. What sexual sign language resources are available?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2012): Well..as someone who's been happily married for Ten years to a deaf woman, I can relate and understand where you're coming from. When my wife and I first got together, I didn't know any sign language or anything about the deaf community. We too started off writing each other notes in a notebook (which we still keep till this day) and it took me about three days to learn the alphabet. I guess "love at first sight" played a big roll on motivation, because after four months...I could finally hold up an "ok" conversation with her, in pure sign; lol. She was and still is a great teacher too though...and patient;lol. But believe it or not, till this day, I still learn a new word now and again. And that's just how the deaf community is, every so often the signs for words change or "upgrade" as she calls it; lol. I have love and respect for the community and I thank God for blessing me with my wife, because I never once thought of her as different or saw her as disabled...I wouldn't change her in anyway! But getting back to your question...as far as love making goes, with details aside; lol. There's nothing u need to be concerned about...position wise or anything else for that matter. Lights on or off...it's no big deal; lol. I suggest u learn the signs for "feel" "like" "ok" "yes & no" to begin with because believe it or not, she won't have to really see what you're signing,(this is emberesing) touching her with the sign or doing the sign, on her back for example is enough;lol. Think I said too much..but u get the point right? Even spelling slowly into her hand will work. And with that said...u can prety much see where I'm going w/ this..be creative;lol. But above all else..respect her like you would any other woman...and if this leads somewhere friend always respect her, learn as much ASL as u can and never, never leave her out of a conversation when there's only hearing people around..trust me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2010): First off I would like to say something as an interpreting major....People in the Deaf community are very physically affectoniate it is VERY common for them to greet each other and to say goodbye with hugs handshakes ect and also to touch each other while conversating and getting one another attention.....If you would like to show some affection towards her the next time you hug her give her three pats on the back (3 pats symbolizes that you are close) 2 pats means that you are acqaintences.... Another thing on this subject People in the Deaf community are also VERY blunt they'll straight out say things like "oh your fat" or "I have herepes" or "your signing skills are horrible" I mean my last semester in school my former professor (who was Deaf) told some of his students that he had his first kid at 17 he then proceeded to tell them that it was his brothers fault for telling him to pull-out and that he got the girl preganat his first time having sex....In terms of asking this woman to make love to you? there are many diffrent signs for sex in ASL.......If you must know the sign for making love the sign for making love fold your middle finger and ring finger in leaving your index pinky and thumb outwards If you need an example of what tis looks like lookup "ILY sign" but anyway,....make the sign on both hands put them slightly appart for eachother palms facing inward, now make circles with the ILY handshape....facial expressions are important make sure you put a passionate look on your face....If you would like a more polite way to bring it out to her you would fingerspell the word S.E.X. (if you don't know the manual alphabet yet) I would advise you look up "fingerspelling""ABCS" or "Manual aphabet ASL" ect ect. I believe there are some videos on youtube it looks pretty much the same as the standard english aphabet and isn't hard to pickup....depending on how well she is in english you may be ble to fingerspell for clarification rememebr the goal is not signing in itself but communication....Although if you feel it would benifit learning ASL and some basic vocabualry I would suggest trying the website lifeprint.com they offer videos on vocabulary words however I do not know if they have ones on sexual signs.....In the end you need to remember that she is Deaf but she is still human people in the Deaf community do not see themselves as disabled or having a a disability. but as a culture or as a linguistic minority....just the same as if you wanted to make love to a woman from france but did not speak french
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2009): Hey man, how a nice and fun to make love to a deaf woman.Away from verbal comprehension you can learn simple sign language words that help intimate both of you beleive me.Again the deaf woman is like normal woman and could be better ,she responses to hugs kissing and even more to be ready for sexual intercourse.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2009): Good heavens man, she's deaf - she's not a bloody alien that doesn't understand life on earth! Just because she's deaf it doesn't mean she can't speak or read your lips. You can still talk to her and make her understand you unless she's facing away from you. You might have to enunciate your words in a more exaggerated fashion, but that's about it. Treat her just the same as any other woman.
This reminds me of the sort of person who talks to the person pushing a wheelchair rather than the one sat in it. Things like 'How is he today?' and 'Does he take sugar?' in a condescending manner. Really bloody annoying for the disabled person.
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