A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My story begins with a guy who I have been dating for 9 months...we have had our ups and downs like any other couple. He is very sensitive, very insecure, and very emotional. He is a thinker can overthink things fast, he is also very irrational sometimes, and impulsive. Nevertheless, he can also be very loving, loyal, caring, and a great listener. Anyway (about 3 days ago), I had a conversation via text with a friend about who to bring to my sorority formal. The obvious answer seems to be my boyfriend...but we have had a rough patch lately. His behavior towards me has been unfair. Whenever I try to express my feelings (in a polite way) he has shot my feelings and opinion down claiming I am a child about things. The things I am referring to is openly hitting on girls in front of me that he doesn't know, or going out at night and not coming back (he called me that night to assure me things were okay but still), canceling dinner at the last minute and building me up and telling me he cant wait to see me all day. It all seems silly but it hurt me a lot. All of it happened within a span of 3 days. Understandingly so I felt like something was up. As a result, when I talked to my friend through text she told me to bring another guy who is a friend of her boyfriends and a guy I used to have a thing with (my boyfriend is aware of this and is also aware that my friend was asking me to take him). Anyway, me and this guy are friends and I would only go with him as friends because in addition to being angry with my boyfriend he also has a commitment on the night of the formal , which means he would not be able to make it. Anyway, getting to the point because it is taking me so long...I had this conversation and I also talked to the guy himself about taking him and he said he had already spoken to my sister from the house and he had said it was a good idea. However, I did not want to hurt my boyfriend but my friend continually kept giving me ideas saying that I could bring her roommate (a girl) and the guy to make it seem less of a threat to my boyfriend. That night when I was going to brush my teeth my boyfriend went through my phone and saw the texts. When I got back to the room he was gone he left. He made a scene and was very upset. I begged and apologized and tried to show him that it was more of an idea than an actual plan set in stone. I told him I was upset and that it was an honest way of settling the situation because my friend had nagged me for weeks to bring this guy. The truth is she did nag me and I felt more and more obligated to bring this guy even though I had a gut feeling that it was wrong. As of now, my boyfriend said he can't deal with this that he is upset that he doesn't want a relationship..that he is hurt. He agrees to see me but as friends so whenever we see each other we are to be only 'friends' but we still do things that 'friends' do not do..such as holding hands, holding each other, etc. What should I do? I have tried to give him somewhat of space. He has done this before..broken up with me when things have become difficult...and I have taken him back..but it hurts so much to go through this. I feel terrible..I want him to see I love him. He tells me he loves me even though we are not together...What should I do? Should I completely distance myself? Should I step away from the situation and let him figure out what he wants. I am afraid he will learn to live without me if I give him too much space?...He broke up with me 2 months ago for similar reasons (not because I did something like this but because he could not handle silly arguments).....I know he loves me...but do I truly completely and entirely deserve this? I want to fix things...I know I was wrong...but how do I make him see that it isn't worth breaking up over? We have weathered through so many storms...this just does not feel right. Help..please.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2010): well thats the thing with overly sensitive guys they maybe loving and caring but it doesn't take much to push him over the edge what guys like this really longs for is someone who can listen to them talk to him about any problems he might have always tell him you'll be there no matter what i know because i'm very sensitive and insecure myself. just be there for him if he's stressed about something then talk to him about it if he doesn't want to talk then just tell him you love him and assure him that you'll do your best to help anyway possible
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