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Lusting is wrong... or is it?

Tagged as: Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 April 2010) 7 Answers - (Newest, 30 April 2010)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Yeah, im a 16 year old kid and having some issues with myself, mostly to do with lust. I know that lust is wrong. When i used to lust it made me want to masturbate. When i did, it felt normal. When i fell in love for the first time i stopped because it felt wrong and it made me feel guilty. Now that im completely single and over it and free i should be free to lust again right? Only im not sure. When ever i masturbate to porn or anything it just feels so wrong, but i like the feeling so i continue to do it. I need to stop, some sort of control but im not sure what. I mean, you cant force falling in love again and that seemed like the only way to stop for a while.. can anyone give me some advice or any personal experiences they have encountered with a similar problem?

View related questions: fell in love, porn

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2010):

It is 2010. Not 1950.

A man can watch all the porn he wants and toss off all he wants. It does not hinder your ability to love someone, even if your mastabatory fantasy if a different person.

Sex and lust is not love. It is best when combined with it. But modern man is able to seperate and distinguish between the two.

Grow up, kid.

Flynn 24

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A female reader, Not My Name Australia +, writes (30 April 2010):

Not My Name agony auntWho says lust is wrong? Just curious where this idea has been instilled in you from as it may give people a better idea on what angle to respond to you from.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2010):

you should exercise a lot to get rid of the excessive energy.

And dont think about it all the time...Prioritise things in your life such as socialising with friends etc

If YOU feel it is wrong... try your hardest to prevent it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2010):

Hey, I've had a similar problem...i was fourteen at the time, and i was completely attracted to videos on hardcore kissing and sex scenes because it triggered some kind of good feeling. It began to feel wrong when i would quickly click off the video when my mom or dad came around. it got to the point where i was always watching the window behind me to make sure no one was watching. I never felt bad about falling in love, but i was afraid to move too quickly with the guy because of my strong urge. My advice is to just stay as far away as you can. Cope with what is around you, and remember that you will mature quickly from it. Everyone goes through that kind of thing; maybe even your parents! And remember; dont ever feel bad about yourself or your desires.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (29 April 2010):

person12345 agony auntThere's nothing wrong with feeling lustful. It's a very normal thing. Everyone feels it, very often. Especially at your age, you will be feeling it a lot. Masturbation is also very normal, most people (men and women) do it and there's absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. You can fantasize however you like. As for the porn, most men do use porn to masturbate. Generally getting used to needing porn to masturbate is a bad idea. Masturbating to fantasies though is totally harmless and normal though. You should stop feeling guilty and start embracing the natural urges. Because I promise, EVERYONE has them. Even monks.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (29 April 2010):

janniepeg agony auntLusting is not wrong and masturbation is not wrong. Repression makes you angry, anxious, and hostile to females. These are not good Christian traits. Your attitude makes it wrong. If you think masturbation makes you short, or god kills 3 kittens every time you masturbate, then of course masturbation won't feel good. To solve a problem you better stop creating any problems at the first place.

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A male reader, ManAfterChrist United States +, writes (29 April 2010):

ManAfterChrist agony auntHey bud, I was addicted to porn for a LOOONG time, and I quit looking at it just before my first love and I met. When we broke up, the cycle started over. But I have enough control now to not look at porn! My reason is religious, but maybe yours isn't. If not, just think about it this way: You will have a wife someday. Do you want her knowing you lusted until her, then just "put it on hold"...? Now, a lot of people on this site will not agree with me, they will say lusting is normal. But I know you don't think so, so we are on the same page here. If you want some accountability, you can message me on here, and I'll shoot you my e-mail. You remind me a lot of myself at that age (I'm not too much older), and I would definitely enjoy helping you out, since I didn't get much help myself.

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