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male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I've been married for 30 years. Recently we had some friends/relatives over for a day at the lake. My wife's cousin, more like a sister to her, has a new boyfriend (we'll call him Dave). He was there. Earlier in the day a fish bit his nipple and we all had a good laugh about it. My wife went over, inspected his nipple and did touch it briefly. That night we were sitting around drinking. My wife was a bit tipsy. She got a devlish look on her face and ran into our bedroom, came out with some pasties and insisted on pulling up Dave's t-shirt to check his nipple and stick it on on him. I thought that was weird but laughed with everyone. A little later while we were playing cards I noticed she doodled a picture of a penis on some scratch paper and finally, when it was time for bed she went around hugging everyone (which she usually does), but when she hugged Dave it was a little "too long" and I thought to myself "Am I imagining this?" But then, she commented, "You're a really good hugger, hug me again" and they did briefly. In bed she rolled over and rebuffed me completely saying she was really tired. Should I be concerned, innocent or more than that? I've not confronted her mostly out of fear. In the past if I've felt jealous and I confront her I come off sounding petty, she gets angry with me and I usually feel like all I did was make things worse. Our sex life has gotten stale and we've talked about it. She's been struggling with menopause and claims her libido is in the tank. I've tried to be understanding but what happened earlier makes me think it's me, not menopause, causing the low libido. Am I being overly sensitive, paranoid?Advice.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (20 October 2022):
 I don't think you are being overly sensitive, but menopause is a BITCH.
I think she was a little jealous of her cousin and the BF - she is seen this "new love" and wanted some attention too.
Her behavior WAS odd. OK a fish bit his nipple but why would SHE need to inspect it? Put a pastie on it? I'd say for attention.
You say IN THE past if you felt jealous you confronted her, so this is not something totally out of character for her.
Seems like she has some boundary issues or she wanted to be the center of attention.
Either way, her behavior was a bit "off color" and I would have felt uncomfortable in your shoes too... AND in Dave's.
But in the bigger picture does it matter? Is it a big deal?
That is up to you. I'd say no. It was a weird moment for sure.
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