| A
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Me and my bf have been going out since last year January.(I'm 19 and he is 29) He is head over heals in love with me and I'm a bit colder. I didn't feel such a big spark in the beginning and I still don't actually but I love him, we have the same interests and we want the same things. He is a very good guy, I can always rely on him, he makes me feel safe, but sometimes I struggle to relax totally when we are sexually active. I'm confused about everything that is going on in my life right now. Will things become more clear to me in a year or two. I don't want to leave him just because I'm not so crazy about his looks, but I also want to feel those butterflies in my stomach, something I didn't feel with him. I'm scared. He is all that I've got. Is there something I can do?? I love him but feel scared and sometimes and pull away. And what if I fall in love with someone in a year or so and they feel about me like I feel now about my bf. Loving someone vs being loved. I'm so confused...What can I do ;(;(;(
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (8 June 2010):
 If it was honest true unconditional love, you would not be asking the question. If you are happy going along with what you have got then maybe the rest could fall in to place through love and respect. You sound like you would prefer a bit more action, spice and adventure from a man. Some women can change their men, maybe you need to get to know him more to make sure that it is what you want. It takes a long long time to get to know someone, but if you love someone you usually know quick enough. You won't be able to be apart from him for long without it hurting. Hope this helps.
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