A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:OK, my girlfriend and I have been together for almost three years with a brief split (three months) about halfway through. When we first started dating, she was very depressed, but now she is much happier. She tells me she loves me and I know she does. She is already planning our lives together (I'm 20 and she's 19), but the thing is, I'm not sure I want that. I love her, but I think its more of a friendly type love. I ship out for the military in the fall. Is it time to leave? I really have almost no romantic feelings for her, but I care (and worry) about her happiness if I did decide to end it. What should I do?
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (8 June 2010):
 Heh, a lot of guys are thinking of leaving when their girl gets depressed. You're quite the opposite.
Yes, by all means, if you're shipping off to the military, you'll want to break up before you go. You have to have romantic feelings towards a girlfriend. When you break up with her, make sure she knows that it isn't her, and be gentle with her. It's miles better than you cheating on her and her finding out.
She would be more hurt if the relationship wore on. We women can pick up when our men are disconnected from us.
A
female
reader, Auntie E +, writes (8 June 2010):
 To answer your question directly - YES - it's time to leave. This is one of the hardest things in the World to do. Of course you don't "want that" - to have your life planned already for you by someone else when you are only 20 years old. Jesus you are not even old enough to go in a bar! Clearly you are not in love with this girl hence "I really have almost no romantic feelings for her." You have answered your own question. Trust your gut. Stop with the "worrying" ok? There is no need to worry about a girl who is 19 - depressed or not - mapping your life out for you. Move on. Please be safe in your deployment.
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A
female
reader, kitty20  +, writes (8 June 2010):
 if you don't have any romantic feelings for her, you have to tell her that, because three years have passed and you still not feeling anything... so my advice for you is to tell her the truth and to walk away, it will be hard for her to understand at first, but she will in time, just be honest with her, good luck !
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