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Love this girl but she sends conflicting signals. Is it something I'm doing wrong?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 August 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 16 August 2010)
A male United States age 36-40, *obby B. writes:

Okay so I met this girl in 2009 at my job we talked a couple times and ended it a couple months later. About 4 months later he hits me up out of nowhere in October and eversince then we've been talking EVERYDAY. This was around the time me and my baby mother was almost done dealing with eachother. Also this was my 1st time dealing with a female with 2 kids. Not a day goes by without me speaking to her, and we talk for hours. So time flies and now were in April so we decided to make things official between us. I love this girl with all my heart n soul. But one day she told me 2 months later she been talking to this guy for 2 weeks behind my back. Eversince then I always kept a third eye on her. I have never cheated on her nor thought about sleeping with another girl. But at times she does think about it and it bothers me alot.

Also the thing that bothers me alot is that the fact she don't like to have females as friends so she's around guys or hangin out with them most the time which also bothers me ALOT. she's been good to me an loyal (from what she says) and I do believe her. Couple weeks later she felt as though she wanted space, and try to end things with me. So I obviously wasn't trying to give up something that is so good between us.

So she somewhat bipolar, we fight argue kiss n make up and she starts it all because she likes to drink club alot then hang with her friend and they hang with guys. I don't really trust her when she's intoxicated. I also found out every week she feels like breaking up with me but doesnt for no reason. I'm scared to lose her and i know she don't wanna lose me either. Ill die for her kill for her anything.

I just want to know if there's something I'm doing wrong here? Or she just have major mood swings and needs to seek serious help before she hurt her loved ones.

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A male reader, Bobby B. United States +, writes (16 August 2010):

Bobby B. is verified as being by the original poster of the question

To tell you the truth I don't see how I'm not giving her any space it's not like we live together. I just think it's unfair when all I'm doing is being the man in the relationship and having a strong back bone. Maybe she's use to guys who let her do what ever she wants and that leads to cheating stress and pain. I'm trying my best to have that new type of relationship an not bringing what she had in the past into this 1. Or maybe I am a bit too mature idk but whatever it is I hope she sees that I can be that perfect man in her life if she stop falling for some of the things people say. Which is another big issue but I can hold off on that note...*sigh I am definetly in love with this girl because she got me posting for advice, lol..

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A male reader, Bobby B. United States +, writes (16 August 2010):

Bobby B. is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks! I see what ur talking about but I let her do whatever she wants as long she's responsible and faithful I have nothing to worry about. It's just when she gets attention from guys/girls she just acts weird or feels confused about herself from what I see. I would give her space but I think it's not really needed cause we talk on the phone more than we see eachother in person. Also I think if I do give her that space she'll get carried away with it and end up doing things she know she shouldn't be doing only because i don't put her thru it. Just wish she can see things from my POV and see that im her true love,I'm the one that really tries to be there when she has no one to go to or talk to and feels like the world is coming down on her.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2010):

Well, it sounds to me like she's not really mature enough to settle down with anyone, even someone who loves her as much as you do. Seems like she does care about you, but she doesn't like the feeling of being trapped or tied to you. Sometimes when you're with someone for a long time, you kinda get a little sick of them. So maybe you're suffocating her a bit? Have you had a serious talk with her about this? Try talking to her, asking her yourself if you're treating her wrong or if she needs something. She might just need some time to breathe and take a break, with no responsibility. This is all assuming that she's been faithful. If she's been cheating on you, you need to dump her because you deserve someone who loves you as much as you love them. So either talk to her about being more open and responsible with you, or let her go and maybe she'll return when she's figured herself out. Hope this helps!

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