A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I really like this guy and we have talked about having sex but i think i might have just been saying this to make him happy and so he wouldn't decide that im not worth his time. Now he wants to hang out alone and stuff but i keep making up excuses to get out of it. Keep in mind we aren't even dating. im looking for someone to date and hes not. a couple of days ago i told him that i'm not sure that i want to have sex with him... and about 2 days later he said he met someone else but 2 days ago he said that i messed up when i told him he was being stupid for going after a 20 year old life gaurd over a girl who actually likes him.... so i asked if we were ok after we talked it over and he said we were and he started being nice and stuff again to me... So i took it as he was still intrested in me in whatever way he was before. so i guess my question is what should i do keep? move on to someone else, wait and see what happens, stay friends, ask him out, hang out with him alone but remind him i dont want to have sex and see what happens from there? All i know is that everytime we fight i take everything back because i like him so much that i would do pretty much anything for him. please help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2010): Aww sweetie I know EXACTLY how you feel. I was the same way, I had feelings for a guy friend of mine and he didn't seem to reciprocate, although he wanted me around whenever he wanted sex. I thought maybe if I gave him sex he'd change his mind and decide he did want to date me, that's not the way it works though. The honest truth is that if he did have feelings for you and want to be with you he would be pursuing you and not this other girl. You should NEVER use sex to get a relationship it just won't work. My honest advice is to first quit taking back what you say just to make him happy, that's not healthy, you shouldn't be trying to please him all the time when you did nothing wrong and he doesn't treat you well. Next you need to decide how you really feel about him, do you really have feelings for him or is it just infatuation because he's a boy and he's your friend and you get along real well. Then if you decide you really do like him be honest and up front and tell him that you have feelings for him and you want a relationship, not just sex. Then take his response and go with it, if he says he's willing to date there you go, but don't be so quick to have sex because he may be faking interest in a relationship just to get sex. If however he says he doesn't want a relationship, take it and move on, there's plenty of other guys who will want a relationship with you and who will treat you right. Life is too short to obsess over someone you can't have who may not return your feelings.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2010): Don't be a doormat.
If he likes you for you, he will understand and respect that you aren't ready for sex; if he doesn't - move on.
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