A
female
age
,
*utterfly-001
writes:Hi there,I've been dating this man for 6 yrs and we now live together and have for over a yr now. He say's I'm a nymph he gets upset when I take care of myself...He makes every excuse possible not to have sex.(headache,upset stomach, work, however he finds the time to get off with Porn. I told him fine watch the porn just take care of me too. He agreed but it's not the case.Im also dealing with his ex wife txting non stop calling, his drinking and drama. During the past year he got a dui on a ferry leaving from a visit to his ex. He is still fighting the charges...( Past abuse of head trauma lead to Seizuresfrom his past marriage. They were both drinkersHe is doing better instead of a 1/2 gallon of Vodka he is down to a pint a day. I feel like a nurse having to take care of him on a daily basis. his mood swing's high's and low's and never know what Im walking into. I helped him create a business and it had been going strong until he drank to much and broke his neck. But he is stubborn wont wear the neck brace and has his excuse to drink more and more. Im not sure what to do any-longer if I try to speak to him Im controlling I should not have to beg for sex. He lives with me lol (Turns down blow job's) the all Im not happy but he is sick. If he would go back to his ex wife she abused him with fying pan's, 2x4's all head injuries when he was asleep she is a drinker too. And to think this man my love was a youth pastor at one time. Confused to say the least. ( We used to do the all together, marathon sex sessions, played, sang, danced and cuddled cooked, boating, camping... I miss the smiles He is in pain perhaps I just need to be patient and not speak.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2015): You're his live-in nurse. He can live as irresponsibly and recklessly as he pleases; and counts on you to wipe his butt and cleanup after him.
How mature must one be to realize life is too short to put-up with such bullsh*t? Why are you making out this grocery list of complaints; yet he's still living with you?
Seriously?!! Living alone can't be worse. You're not getting any younger; and you really could be using the time you're wasting on him, to find a better match for yourself.
I suppose you're venting, and came to get the encouragement to send him back to his ex.
Here goes!
Pack his things, put them on the back porch, and hand him his walking papers. Nurses get paid by the hour doing what you do. It's a profession, not a romantic relationship.
A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (6 September 2015):
 You can only do the best you can, it seems as though you have done that. This man is his own worst enemy and is well over due to be taking responsibility for his sad sack self. He has lived as both the abuser and victim with his first marriage so this what he knows, how do you change that? Do you want to spend the next 10 years of your life missing out on someone else's love ,care and affection and you getting the enjoyment of being able to give back in return? Whether or not you want to leave the relationship is only something you can decide for yourself, however in the mean time I would be suggesting that he move out put you some space between yourselves in order to re assess just what it is.you need to do for YOURSELF. Should you decide that you want to go your separate ways then him already moved out makes things all that bit easier. At your age you should be enjoying a relaxed life without all the stress and drama.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2015): for goodness sake leave this man!!!There is nothing you can do to make someone happy who doesn't want to be happy! In the NORMAL SENSE that is! Some people do wallow in self pity, its their identity!Please don't waste any more of your precious life on him.Go and enjoy life while you still can. Move on.I wish you all the best, respect yourself and expect more from life than this.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 September 2015):
 Honestly, I would move out.
You are settling for being his nurse and the caretaker of him. Yes, he had a head injury (which is his own darn fault) but really WHAT do you get out of this relationship?
Support? Love? Encouragement? Intimacy? Trust? Honesty? Doing things together? Enjoying life?
You worry that if you leave he HAS to go back to his abusive violent ex? Why? Why can't he live in his own place?
Maybe because he is a co-dependent alcoholic who really don't care about much besides himself and his deal.
I'm sorry, I don't see why you need to bury yourself in the hole that HE has dug for himself.
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