A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:After several months of mutual attraction between myself and a very nice man, we met up and discussed establishing our relationship. Asked if I wanted to take our friendship further or just remain good friends. We decided to take this further. We spent a very good night together. Since then the family business hours have meant he has no time to visit again - we still see each other when I visit the business, the deep feelings are there but to communicate at length is incredibly difficult. On the one hand I am happy to go along with patience on my part.....but it all seems so weird.The worst part is that he is not contactable by phone or email - he didn't renew his phone contract,which may be down to financial problems. any thoughts on this one? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUpdate on "Love in absentia". This man comes from middle east (he is not muslim) - and culturally things are very different.
His family run a business - he is a very strong part of this - something I would not want to change - but since he told them of our relationship - their control is unbelievable. They cannot stop me seeing him (when I visit the business) - but there is a huge difference between his behaviour when I see him on his own, or if they are around.You can see his fear. It's almost as if they have enslaved him, and yes, he is a grown up man and should stand up for himself, but in these cultures, it is not so easy. My genuine love for this man sure is being tested. Patience I know is everything, but I just don't know what to do. Control freaks doesn't come close. any ideas?
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (20 May 2010):
 It sounds as though you have differing ideas of what constitutes taking things to the next level. He just meant having sex; I think you expected a relationship. He was thinking "friends with benefits" and you were thinking "and now we date."
I would assume that he meant FWB and probably exit gracefully, stage right. I'm sorry if your feelings became engaged with this guy. Good luck with the next man.
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A
male
reader, called Steve +, writes (20 May 2010):
 Reading this - makes me wonder a little.
Is seems it was him that asked you whether you wanted to take this relationship further yes? Why did he do this if he cannot or will not commit any time to you and your relationship.
As a previous Aunt states - it is little more than friendship with benfits.
Think carefully about where you want the relationship to go and plan accordingly before you act! It seems you are putting more commitment into this than he is - unfounded or not.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, PeanutButter +, writes (19 May 2010):
 When you met up and discussed if you'd like to take it further, was it him asking you or a joint thing?
Have you spoken since?
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