A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Well, I've been a relationship with my boyfriend for about two years. When I first met him I was instantly attracted to him, but the first time we had sex it wasn't good. I asked him if he was a virgin and he said no, so I asked him how many partners he had, he said around five but he still was bad. I just can't place it! I've tried different things with him but still nothing.It had gotten so bad that I hated even letting him touch me. I even was ready to leave him. I know crazy right! I love him so much, I feel so confortable around him. I feel like I can be myself. What do you do when you love somebody so much but the sex isn't good? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2009): You let it go on for two years? Seriously? Any attempts to resolve it now is going to hit him hard that he's so lousy. What happened to the communicaton? Are we men supposed to know by instinct what to do? Why does 'the ability to read minds' keep popping up in our resumes?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2009): I posted an article before about why men are so bad in bed and got derided because I should have put it in forums apparently - and here we are with a similar question - so my previous posting may have helped, but hey ho. This is a difficult one - when a man just doesn't do it for you, I don't think any amount of teaching will help. It is wonderful to have a man instinctively know how to touch you and what turns you on - luckily my current bf is a superb lover and he's incredibly naturally sexy too (think Brad Pitt when he had long hair) - I cannot explain how wonderful it is to have a partner who naturally knows what level of touch, where to touch you etc. I get so wet to be honest that that is almost a problem in itself - I literally water at the thought of him he is soooo good. Plus, I find him incredibly sexy so I'm not sure if that helps too. I did a straw poll with my friends/colleagues and they all agreed that most men weren't very good in bed. It's a tricky one because personally, if i had to show a man where and how to touch me, it would put me off completely and has done in the past.Some of them go about touching your clit like a monkey banging away at a typewriter - once they've touched you in a way that makes you freeze because potentially they are going to hurt you, that's it - the moment has gone. I'd say perhaps you are not sexually compatible. If you are willing to teach him too - well that's fine. As I said before, I couldn't do this but perhaps you can. Good luck x
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A
female
reader, Tarianna  +, writes (22 June 2009):
 ok...I see your problem here...I suggest that you teach him how to make love to you or how to have sex with you...show him what turns you on...where to touch when to touch...if possible you can use a sex toy to demonstrate to him on what to do if you dont mind...let him explore your body in short..and eventually he'll be able to make your toes curl over...wish you luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2009): Sometimes people just aren't sexually compatible and that's one of the big categories you have to match on if you are going to have a future together. It sounds like you make better friends than lovers?
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