A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:HiI'm 28. For the first time in my life I think I am truly in love. My relationshiip with my girlfriend of 4 months is fantastic.However, she does not believe in sex before marriage because she is christian. I am not religious but repsect her beliefs. I, on the other hand, am used to being in sexual relationships. Before going out with my current girlfriend, I had recently come out of another relationship, we were not right for each other but we had great sex.I keep telling myself I can wait without having sex because she is so special but its easier said than done. I feel really sexually frustrated (as you've probably noticed already), partly because I am so attracted to my girlfriend. The worrying thing is that I am noticing other girls more and more.What should I do?Thanks
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female
reader, LustyLisa  +, writes (14 February 2011):
My husband of 20+ yrs didn't have sex until we married and we dated nearly 4 yrs. In my opinion, any sexual activity that involves a partner is sex. This person is telling you that she has standards and the only way you are going to get into her pants is to marry her. If you can't handle your own frustrations while you are wooing and winning her hand in marriage, you ain't the man for her now are you.
To some people, giving yourself sexually to another person is a very big deal and we only want to do share with one individual. If you care for her, your frustrations shouldn't be a problem. She's not responsible for you being frustrated. You are doing that all on your own.
A
female
reader, Rose22  +, writes (13 February 2011):
 hmmm wel its good that you have respected her wishes its a very amiable trait, but a totally understand that you are sexually fustrated, just keep thinking of how great it will be when you first have sex with her. are you planning on getting married any time soon? if so im sure you can wait as you think you love her.but if marrige is far off in the distance then maybe you need to get your priorities sorted, dont try to bend her but maybe if you cant stand the waiting thing its time to go.you say you find yourself looking at other girls? well maybe say this to your girlfriend and see what she says? she knows you have had sex before right? explain that you what you are feeling it might help to get it off your chest?also is she against any type of sexual activity? like oral? if not then try that. if so maybe you will have to masturbate. i see that you really love this girl and want to wait but are finding it hard, well keep ur chin up and keep in mind that you may have found the girl you have been looking for. just think its just a little condition to being with this girl forever, it is little isnt it, when you think about it?well i hope i have helped you some, good luck with this fantastic girl!!!redrosexxx
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (13 February 2011):
 4 months in, can you see yourself possibly marrying this girl? Did she make her beliefs known before you two started dating or was it after the fact?
I can understand your pent up sexual frustration; I also give you props for dating a person with those beliefs. That's something I could never do, although I do have a high amount of respect for those people in practicing celibacy. Takes a lot of self-discipline. There's nothing you can do really..except for to masturbate. You couldn't ask her to go against her beliefs. That would be morally wrong of you.
Is this including oral sex as well? I do know christians who still engage in oral but not vaginal. However, that would be like putting ignitor fluid on the fire in your case.
Bottom line is if you see a future with this girl, then ride it out. Or you could propose early, say a year or 2. Perhaps, you should be asking yourself if you can date someone who wishes to abstain from sex? Do you HAVE to have sex in a relationship? If you're leaning more towards "no" and "yes" , then this girl may not be for you.
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