A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear agony aunts and uncles. I think I got lovebombed. I met a 57 yr old man and we started dating. I wasn’t too keen on anything serious bc I as just out of a messy breakup. The new bf wanted to go on this big excursion for his birthday. I wanted a distraction and agreed. This required I take a day off from work, bring my laptop to finish some work and bought a gift. I also rented my own room bc I was not going to sleep w a relative stranger. He was shocked I got my own room. I do fairly well at work too. So we celebrate his bday. Went dancing which I don’t like. I didn’t like how women were rubbing up against me at these lounges and he felt I was being rube by asking for my space. I do not like feeling a woman’s buttocks or breasts on me! There was plenty of room too and I’m quite used to going out in NYC in my 20s. I’m aware of the etiquette whereas he’s from basically a rural area. . Plus I bet he wouldn’t have liked it had the roles been reversed. Fast forward a few weeks, we are hanging out most weekends. I told him twice in person my own birthday is coming. A third time over the phone. Last reminder was 2 weeks notice. Well, he forgot. Then he goes off on me that I should have reminded him. He refused to call me bc he said I’d be mad. He blatantly refused to apologize. He said he was a victim too. Of what idk. Then he sends me this crazy long text about how he was imagining our future but he fell short and I don’t accept him for who he is. Mind you, this man cannot function sexually without pills and his size was the smallest I’ve ever had in my life. He also has a lot of family drama whereas I do not.. He’s also still in party mode at his age. I’m 17 years younger and am so past that. It’s funny bc without me, he probably wouldn’t have been able to get into these New York City clubs without me. I’m petite so most people think I’m young. (In the dark of course lol.)He does have a good career but another red flag I didn’t like was he admitted to goin to work w Covid despite having mostly elderly patients. I was taken aback by that considering he’s in healthcare. Idk how he could say I don’t accept him. I said I don’t accept breadcrumbs and people who can’t apologize. Anyway, he ignores me now. I’m upset that he turned the whole thing around and has the nerve to pretend I don’t exist.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2023): he is everything you dont need.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2023): It is obvious that if a guy, a total stranger, love bombs you he does not love you and is after something - usually sex.
It is also obvious if this guy is getting on a bit or very frustrated and lonely he is more likely to. It is also obvious that whatever he wants you can decide it is too much and say no. But asking you to share his birthday and give him sex is not love bombing. Love bombing is where it is all about love, nothing to do with sex. You let him persuade you to please him. Your choice. You don't want anything serious so why do you care? Non serious means you just move on and forget it, you don't need advice, questions, answers or long thoughts when it is just casual. You put a lot of time and effort into this and you still are - to you it is not casual.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2023): Not worth talking about or thinking about. You were silly to waste so much time on a loser. Get rid and that is the end of it - move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2023): He doesn't have anything to offer and you're settling for, as you say, crumbs. Why? To put it in bluntly, he's past his expiry date and you know what to do with the milk that's sitting at the back of your fridge right? You throw it out.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 May 2023):
 Block him.
You weren't looking for anything serious and HE isn't serious nor does he care about you, whatsoever.
Why waste more time on someone who doesn't treat you nicely or with an ounce of respect?
What exactly does he have to offer?
You say nothing positive about him except he has a nice career....
Block and move on. Stop wasting your time.
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