A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend has gone away to study. When he left i was a virgin but now I'm not. Will he know that I'm not a virgin? I dont want to tell him the truth bcause i know what will happen. Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008): No. A mistake occurs when you attempt to do the right thing, but for reasons beyond your control (ie lack of information, preconcived notions, or being mislead) the result is incorrect. You were aware you were bound by the rules of a standard relationship, you knowingly chose to go against those rules, and now you are attempting to conceal the facts to someone you supposedly love. That is not a mistake, it is called cheating. When you cheat, either in a game or a relationship, you knowingly and intentionally contravene the established rules of the relationship or game, usually to your own benifit. It is cut and dry.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey am not a bad person to say you dont ever want to get mixed up with a girl like mi i made a mistake
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2008): End the relationship with your BF. Or at least tell him the truth if you stay with him. But just by the way you ask the question, I don't think you will. It sounds like you're not even interested in what's right, you're really just worried about getting caught now. God I hope I don't ever get mixed up with a girl like you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2008): Please tell him, especailly if he's a virgin aswell, it would be awful for you not to tell him and then have sex with him. Be honest
XxXx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2008): Hi ms anonymous,
The male guy is right. Unless you were raped, you had willing sex with someone else and now you want our help to lie to your boyfriend. What if he had done the same to you, wouldn't it make you feel bad. You shouldn't lie to him, that's not fair, he loves you and trusts you, you must tell him the truth. You think this lie will go away, it won't, it will stay with you for the rest of your life, and one day you will feel guilty and you will have to tell him the truth. Good relationship can't be built on cheating, you can't lie to him and feel happy with yourself. Don't ruin his life by keeping this a secret. If you have behaved badly then he deserves to know the truth about you. It's his life too, he deserves better than to be tied to a lying, dishonest cheat. Tell him the truth, he might surprise you, he might decide to stay with you, or then again he might leave. Either way give him the option, it's not fair to trick him like this. Show a bit of pride and honour, confess to him the things you have done.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2008): So let me get this straight. You cheated on your boyfriend as soon as he was away, gave your virginity to someone other than him, feel guilty about it now, and you want to know if you can lie your way out of it? It may be a little late for you, but I would suggest you do the right thing and tell the truth.
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