A
male
age
30-35,
*afa
writes:So on January 10th of this year, I lost my girlfriend and our 3 month old baby girl in a car accident.At first it wasn't really effecting me that much, a few weeks went by and it finally hit.All I can think about is them. Today I saw this little baby girl who looked similar to my baby. I am going crazy. I wish they were still here with me.My question though, is if anyone has gone through something like this and how they got through it. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chickpea2011  +, writes (4 April 2011):
 Dear Rafa,
I am deeply sorry for your loss...there are no words to express the pain & no words to make you feel better.
I lost my mother due to pancreatic cancer 9 years. My mom was diagnosed few days after sept 11, 2001 & after 8 mos she passed away.
Its very shocking, one day everything seem so normal, all of the sudden your whole life change.
Everybody grief in different ways. The first months I was feeling extremely calm & in peace. I accepted Gods decision & I knew my mother was not in pain anymore & in a better place.
People said that it gets easier with time? But in my case, its harder as times goes by.. I cry almost everyday & each day I miss her more & more. Right now, after so many years I have mix emotions. Somedays I am ok, somedays I am so angry..others I feel guilty for not being able to save her, I wish I had millions to save her life..I feel I haven't done enough for her
The pain will never go away, but you learn to live with the pain. It becomes part of your life. You know how people say there's a reason for everything? But, I learn the sometimes things just happened without a reason. Sometimes life is unfair & nobody have answers & you'll never know why??
Few months after my moms passing I received few letters on my moms name, its so painfull..
You will have things that will remind you of your girlfriend & your baby through out life, but you got to be strong, eventually you will learn how to be strong...
Just remember that you're not alone, this is just part of life...
My advice to you is not to feel guilty, sad, depress. Its ok to be happy & move on with your life. I am sure your girlfriend & your baby want you to be happy..
Turn your life around, be positive, appreciate the ones you love around you. Whatever you're doing now, try to be the best so your girlfriend & your baby will be proud of you. Eat well, exercise & try to keep yourself busy..
I never seek professional help, but if the pain is unberable try to see a professional help. Remember, learn to control your mind, always push yourself, think positive
Wish you peace, happiness, successful future...
A
female
reader, amazingk +, writes (4 April 2011):
 No, I've never experienced a loss as devastating as the one you described, but I do want to offer you my sincerest condolences. It'll take time, so rely on the support from your family and close friends. Cry if you need to. Pray if you're into that. It will get better. I wish you well.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2011): I have never lost a child, but have lost others. Losing a child has to be the hardest grief to get through, especially as your girlfriend died too.
I would seek help, or counselling, talk to others who have gone through the same, don't isolate yourself. Grief has many stages and affects everyone differently. You will never forget either of them, and you shouldn't - but dealing with grief does get eaisier with time, your loss is very raw right now, share it, join support groups anything, just don't bottle it up.You had them both for a brief time and they had you.
Good luck to you xxxx
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