A
female
age
30-35,
asian gangster
writes:i was seeing this guy from over 2 years ago. he used to come over to my hood to visit me and take me out to places even when he was with his boys.even though i was meant to be at home doing what a regular 13 year old would've done like going on msn and chatting to my friends, doing homework all that sort of stuff, my nights were spent going out with him and his friends in the middle of the night. it was awkward not having my girls around because he had so many of his boys with him but when i was 13 my girls weren't allowed out like i was. although every moment i spent with him was pretty draining, i enjoyed every moment of it. at times when he didn't visit, i remember missing him a lot and then he'd suprise me somehow even if he was just calling up.so over the first two months of being with him, we both knew very well we were in love with each other and started dating. we were going out for 2 months but we didn't see each other as much as we did before we were dating.i didn't know what was going on so i became more observant of our relationship.one night, i saw what was to shatter me. one girl that i was in a fight with decided to come out with our group one night.i remember wanting to go home straight away because i didn't want to see her ugly face and body but then something in my mind told me to stick around and see what the night was going to be unfolded to.on the way to our mall, she flirted with him and made noises as if she was like an indian.i remember everyone was hooting about it and my face went blank. i was quiet the whole night and was even more shocked because he didn't even tell me what was up.for an entire week i remember everyone just confused about the situation and i was left feeling like i just got run over by a car.following another week, i worked up the courage to call him up to ask what was up. he said he didn't do anything with her but i didn't know if i should beleive him. i thought about it the whole night but then if he didn't want todo anything with her, he would've walked away from her. the next day, we met up at a bar and i broke off our relationship. i told him why i did it and i remember how he reacted. he was quiet for a very long time and then he said he wanted to try an open-relationship but for me, following my morals and my intuation, i turned it down because i didn't want the value of our relationship to be weak.i remember hugging him really tight before i left. i felt relieved that i ended it because the relationship was starting to get real sour. my girls told me what i did was right.i was feeling alright for a while but that night i broke down in tears. i realised i was already too in love with him and that i didn't want to be without him. it hurted even more because i had to let him go. i remember i could'nt even move on with other relationships. every guy that came across after him was useless. i didn't want another boy because i knew he was the one. after a few months, we started seeing each other as friends. i soon learnt that he had been sleeping with my 'friends' and had been looking at my other friends.i'm now so confused and whenever i talk to my guy friends, they always bring the guy up and tell me how he always used to do anything for me. these were things i didn't even know about until a year after we broke up. now when i try to get over him, all these stuff i know about what he used to do for me makes it harder and harder for me to get over him.whenever we all go out now, he'd say things like i'm his girlfriend but everyone knew that we weren't dating anymore.but then i found out he is seeing another girl.now i'm so confused.someone with the same experience or from a guy's perspective, can you tell me;what's this supposed to mean?has he moved on?is he doing this to get me thinking?does he even think about us anymore?what should i do?i know talking to him about it may help but he doesn't really talk about the relationship-sort-of-thing so it's hard for me.somebody hear me out.holla.
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female
reader, nazmin  +, writes (11 July 2008):
honey you need to let it go. he isn't worth it if he keeps this up. ok he liked to before but the way you're saying he's carrying on, it's just not worth the effort. you might think im being harsh but its for your own best. ive been through a similar situation. you may think you love him but honey you're 13 years old. you're way too young for this and really you should be concentrating on your studies. you never know. when the time is right, your prince charming will come and sweep you off your feet. take my advice and get rid of all your old friends and make new real friends who wont judge your situation like that. hope that helps.
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