A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is a somewhat embaressing thing to ask/talk about. But this is the thing... I have been with my girlfriend for almost half a year. I am almost 18, she is 17. Ever since the first time we had sex together everything has been fine. But since 2 weeks ago for some reason I just can't get it up anymore. The thing is I basically cum straight away anyway, that it's never been a problem just shrugging that off and carrying on. In fact it's better that way and I bet this is common for other guys my age. However one evening I just couldn't get it up after I went first time round. And things got nasty. I tried and tried to get it back up but just couldn't and naturally was embaressed and annoyed. My girlfriend was cool about it but I just got so fustrated. Anyway since then onwards everytime I cum first time I can never seem to carry on like I always had done before. She is fed up of having to stop so early cos I can't get it up again after I go first time. I think it's the fact that I feel so under pressure not to let it go after I've gone, that I just lose the hardness anyway. I am therefore stuck in a loophole and don't know what to do. Sex for us is not fun anymore and has come to the point where she just doesn't want to do it that much anymore because deep down we both know whats gonna happen.I would really love to know how to get out of this horrid loop and how I can just get on with it again. For a guy, it's so demorralising to not be able to please a girl you love so much. It's never ever been a problem before, just after it happened first time about 2 weeks ago.Any suggestions?Thank you. x Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, TimmD  +, writes (13 May 2010):
 Most guys cannot get an erection immediately after ejaculating. Usually it takes about a half an hour to get it back up again. When you are younger and newer at sex you are a lot more excited and the potential for "being ready" quickly after ejaculating is there, but it usually doesn't last long.
What you are experiencing is normal. What guys learn to do in time is not cum so fast. With time and experience you will learn to make that first session last longer. The longer you make it last, the better pay off in the end for both you and your partner. However, the secret to making it last longer is not physical... it's mental. Right now you are getting really excited because it feels really good and you're really horny. Learn to enjoy sex with your girlfriend and fight that urge to cum. In time... you will learn....
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